5 Reasons to Watch TV – By Joshua Samford

Anyone that has known me for any length of time, knows that I’m a bit of a man’s man. I like to watch fights (will get to that later), I love my girlfriend and I love to watch TV. It is that one activity that seperates the men from the boys. That’s right, having the dexterity and agility to sit on your rear end for an entire day from start to beginning and do nothing more than watch TV. Now before I entered into the working world, I was pretty much a grand champion in the sport of TV watching – however as of late I haven’t really been able to enjoy all too much of the boob-toob, which is a real shame. In my offtime though, I have picked up on several programs that are constantly keeping my attention and/or making me a bit on the obsessive side. Today I thought I’d share some of those programs with those of you who aren’t currently picking up on the same frequencies that I am. Whatever that exactly means.

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 SHOW: Dirty Jobs

THE BASICS:
Mike Rowe has done everything. The guy has worked on QVC, he has done voiceover and narration work for nearly every show in the history of television it seems – but it is shovelling feces that has brought him worldwide acclaim and stardom. The Discovery Channel is in the midst of producing and presenting some of the most interesting shows on TV right now and Dirty Jobs is at the forefront. Every week Mike Rowe goes out and he joins some other poor saps as they go about their hard work. Whether their work includes steaming gum off the concrete in a major metropolitan area, or as already mentioned – shovelling feces; Mike Rowe is there to help out and show us the inner workings of the world’s dirtiest jobs.

AWESOME:
What makes Dirty Jobs so great isn’t just watching some guy do yucky things, or meeting some of the stranger folks that come around with these odd jobs – it is Mike Rowe and his amazing wit. Mike Rowe is the ultimate smart-alek. With one liners and zings that never stop, Mike always presents himself in the sarcastic manner of "Oh great! I get to crawl around in muck!". He is never demeaning to the people who do this for a living, but always shows the lighter side of the dirtiest situations. The guy is just funny. Watch the show.


SHOW: The Adult Swim Block


THE BASICS:
Even now, years after it’s inception, Adult Swim is going stronger than ever and has found a worldwide audience. As a Space Ghost geek, I was with Adult Swim from the very beginings and although I don’t get to watch as much these days – they still have one of the best blocks of television out there. Focusing on more adult oriented cartoon programming, Adult Swim airs on Cartoon Network and ranges from Japanese anime shows with a more serious tune to the outright absurd and zany Harvey Birdman: Attourney At Law and Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

AWESOME:
Can you believe we have actually had a ATHF movie? Hard to believe, and it was great to boot. Pretty weird, but great. What has constantly made Adult Swim great over the years though is that weirdness. From the bloated pauses in conversation throughout the majority of Williams St. programs to the absolutely strange and beautiful Anime shows that have come and gone like FLCL and Cowboy Bebop. The guys over at Adult Swim have provided a man for the geeks the world over, and they’re still as exciting as ever.


SHOW: Macabre Theater


THE BASICS:
Here’s one pretty much no one has seen I can guarantee. That’s because Macabre Theater comes on only in select markets. Truth be told, since their website doesn’t have any information on it and I’ve seen a couple of reruns as of late, I’m not even sure new episodes are being produced. Regardless, I have become a big fan of the show over the few months I’ve been watching. Macabre Theater is a film based hosting program much like what Elvira and Joe Bob Briggs did in the past; but with a new ghoulish host in Ivonna Cadaver. A lovely gothic girl who hosts horror classics such as Tenebre (here shown as Unsane) and The Brain that Wouldn’t Die.

AWESOME:
Macabre Theater is campy until it hurts, but that’s exactly what makes it so great. Ivonna is a great hostess and makes the audience genuinely laugh rather than being a cheap piece of eye candy. Besides, did you get the part where I said they are playing Dario Argento movies? Do you need any more reason to check it out? Currently I pick up Macabre Theater on America One, a small independent station that plays here in Louisiana in somewhat fuzzy quality. Although there isn’t much info to be found, you can keep an eye out on their official site at: http://www.macabretheatre.com.

SHOW: Flight of the Conchords

THE BASICS: Based around the fourth most popular comedy folk duo from New Zealand, Flight of the Conchords might be the funniest show this year. Working around the FOTC boys songs, each episode two or more of their songs in full music video-esque glory. The show would be nothing if it was just about the funny songs however, and the band are just as funny as their songs. Brett and Jermaine are perhaps two of the best deadpan comedy artists I’ve seen since Steven Wright and although some people might not "get" such comedy, those that do are bound to fall in love with the show. Truly one of the best things going right now.

AWESOME:
The guys make the show, and the brilliant comedians they surround themselves with for supporting cast help bring out how great they are as well. From all the witty and weird banter between the characters to the hillarious songs such as "Most Beautiful Girl in the… Room" to "The Humans Are Dead", definitely tune in to HBO Sunday and check out this amazing program in all of its glory.

 SHOW: Man Vs. Wild

THE BASICS:
Bear Grylls, who climbed Everest and served time in the British Special Forces, is dropped off in a remote location with nothing more than a flint, a canteen and a knife and he must find his way back to civilization. Episodes ranging from a desert island where Grylls has to construct a raft and find his way back to the civilized world to the African desert where Bear must fight the heat and survive amongst the elephants and lions. Man Vs. Wild shows the world how to survive even in the most dangerous of locations and is sure to at least pass along a few helpful hints even if you tune in just to see Bear eat or drink something nasty; which is the real reason the majority of us watch.

AWESOME:
Well, as of now there have been reports that Bear Grylls might possibly have stayed in hotels on two or so occasions when he was shown to be "roughing" it in the woods, as well as a few other instances of the show being set-up somewhat. Although if this turns out to be true, it does damper Bear’s legacy somewhat and in my opinion takes away from his being a true "hero" for people – but overall; as far as the television series goes – Man Vs. Wild is still as amazing as ever and without a doubt Bear Grylls tempts danger in every episode and shows us some of the dirties aspects of the survival game. Such as having to drink your own urine to survive, wrap your urine soaked shirt around your head to cool yourself off, eating the flesh of a dead zebra for food, eating the eyeball of a dead sheep, eating a live frog or snake, etc. Bear shows it all in its gritty glory. Definitely one of the best shows on TV and probably the best show on Discovery. It is highly reccomended. So there you have it, the five reasons you should be watching TV these days. We’re taking part in a glorious time and some of the best TV I have seen in a while is happening every single night – and it ain’t happening on the big networks. Everyone should definitely check out these five shows if they can get the stations. This stuff is going to change the world!