The Sinful Nuns of St. Valentine. Sounds like a porn movie, doesn't it? Well, it's not. It's actually an Italian film from 1974 that takes place during the Spanish Inquisition, where a young man named Esteban has been falsely accused of herecy by his love Lucita's parents. Their two families have been bitter enemies, but somehow Esteban and Lucita had found love and only wanted to be together, but Lucita's parents got in the way. Esteban was constantly on the run from guards working for the inquisitors, and Lucita was sent to a convent called St. Valentine, where she was taken in as an initiate, but soon would be a full fledged nun.

After he was injured in a fight with some guards who were chasing him, Esteban ends up at the convent, where his friend Joaquin works as a servant. Joaquin is on their side, and after he hides Esteban away, he brings Lucita to him. Now aware of the situation, the two have to figure out a way to escape, but there's a complication. Lucita's roommate Josepha is murdered, and Lucita is blamed. Now not only do they have to escape the the evil clutches of the abbess of the convent, but also the most notorious and brutal of the inquisitors, who was sent there to interrogate Lucita about the murder, and after torturing her to get her to confess, ultimately sentences her to death. Will the two escape, or will the star crossed lovers be denied their happiness forever? You'll have to watch the movie to find out.

I have to admit something. I came into this movie prepared to hate it. I figured it was going to be another cheap, Italian sex and torture flick, long on the sex and boredom and short on story. I am happy to acknowledge that I was wrong in this assumption. This film actually had a pretty well written and thought out story, and the cast all performed quite well. As you would expect with this genre of Italian film, the acting can be a bit melodramatic at times, and people don't always do the logical thing when faced with adversity.

Francoise Prevost plays the abbess of the convent. Right from the first introduction of her character, you can tell she's quite evil and only interested only in her own pleasure and desires. She was 45 years old when this film was shot, and still very attractive once you got her out of the nun's habit. She discovers the story about Esteban and Lucita, and pretends to want to help them, only to get Esteban into her chambers. Esteban satsifies her passions in an effort to get her to help Lucita escape from her fate with the inquisitioner, but it's to no avail. Only later does it come out that the abbess has actually, with the help of the other nuns, been bringing men to the convent to satisfy her sexual desires, and then she stabs them to death and has the other nuns bury them in the garden to keep them from exposing her secret.

Paolo Malco plays Esteban. He's blonde and handsome, and there's something in his appearance that makes me think of the Italian actor, Terence Hill for whatever reason. The relationship between he and Lucita, played by Jenny Tamburi, is surprisingly believable, and you'll actually find yourself pulling for them.

The convent was actually a nice setting for a film of this nature, because the stone construction and closeness of the rooms and hallways almost make it feel like some kind of a sinister dungeon at times, and Corrado Gaipa as Father Onorio, the inqusitor, presents an imposing and ominous figure in this setting as he tries to root out what he believes to be evil wherever he finds it, and it doesn't matter how many people he has to have put to death to eliminate it. By the way, he's also quite mad, and Gaipa plays that well, keeping it more subtle until the end of the film, when he goes full on nuts.

All in all, this was a actually a rather good film, and a pleasant surprise. I've seen a lot of bad Italian films in my day, but this definitely isn't one of them. It's not spectacular, but it really is quite enjoyable, and I have no problem in recommending it.

This new release from Kino Lorber's Redemption label only has trailers for special features, but it has been remastered in HD from the original 35mm negative. The film itself looks quite good considering its age, and the quality of this release has done it justice.

If you'd like to find out more about this release, you can check out its page on the Kino Lorber website here, and if you'd like to pick up a copy for yourself, you can get the blu-ray or DVD from Amazon, or from any of the other usual outlets.

Jim (Dan Hale) has just come back home after the reading of his estranged father’s will. Instead of money or stocks and bonds, Jim receives a handwritten music composition that in his father’s words “is the finest thing I’ve ever created.” Bitter, Jim tells his wife Alex (Meredith Lyons) how he isn’t even upset that his father has died. The next day Jim receives a letter from the local adoption agency informing the couple that because of their financial struggles, they are ineligible to adopt a child. Later, Jim goes to the piano and starts to play his father’s composition. But every time he begins, the lights flicker madly. But when Jim calls for Alex, the lights stop flickering. Jim is determined to play the piece without anyone else around, so later when Alex is at her parent’s house, Jim starts to play the piece again. But even he isn’t ready for what happens next.

“Harold’s Gift” is a moving and magical tribute to the power of love. There’s a lot to like in writer/director Adam Orton’s short which focuses on Jim and Alex’s struggle to start a family. Both know that they would be good parents if given the opportunity; however, that chance consistently eludes them.

Orton has created a sweet and pleasing film that generates a great deal of genuine warmth. Dan Hale and Meredith Lyons are appealing as the struggling couple and are so natural in their roles that I could easily see them living in my neighborhood. Orton directs confidently and also contributes an evocative score that really sells the film’s magical premise. “Harold’s Gift” is a wonderful short that touches your heart without being syrupy.

To see the trailer for “Harold’s Gift”, please visit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA1wl5-ZVlk

To learn more about “Harold’s Gift”, please go to: https://www.facebook.com/HaroldsGiftShortFilm

Martin Banks (Joe Atkinson) is a dweeby traveling salesman. He goes from house-to-house and tries to sell people something they don’t want (a useless vacuum cleaner made in India). But Martin’s method of travel is quite unique. His company is on the cutting edge of technology, so they teleport him into your house whether you want him there or not. Martin can then catch you at a most inopportune moment and hopefully sell you something when you’re at your weakest. Today, however, Martin has teleported into the home of Chloe Crumb (gorgeous Cindy Maples) and caught her with her lover Jay (Rusty James). Her hulking husband Bruce (Sean Roberts) teleports home shortly thereafter and is none too happy to find his nightgown-clad wife in the presence of two other men. If Martin isn’t careful, this could be the last cold call he ever makes.

“The Telemarketer” is a real hoot. It’s a funny and spirited sci-fi short from Lunch Hour Films and Communindie Films. Jon Higgins (director) and John Cosper’s (writer) short is a devilish sci-fi twist on the classic traveling salesman movie (think of Abbott and Costello’s “Little Giant” [1946] and Red Skelton’s “The Fuller Brush Man” [1948]). This movie is fun from the opening shot as Martin’s boss (Mark Dessauer) assures the milquetoast salesman that teleportation is the wave of the future. I also loved watching Cindy Maples go through the gamut of emotions as Martin goes about his routine quite oblivious to the situation around him.

Everyone in this movie gives a pitch perfect performance. Joe Atkinson is energetic as the dimwitted Martin, while Cindy Maples and Rusty James are properly befuddled as the adulterous couple. Sean Roberts is absolutely menacing as Bruce Crumb.

Featuring an uproarious twist at the end, “The Telemarketer” is a witty and original look at a situation we find ourselves in quite often. But after watching it, I must confess that I hope that teleportation isn’t that close to being perfected.

“The Telemarketer” will go live on YouTube on July 20th, so keep an eye out for it.

For more information on “The Telemarketer”, please visit these sites: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2871130 and https://www.facebook.com/TheTelemarketer

"Jim's just a regular guy, except for his masochistic tendencies, who's looking for Ms. Right. Can he control his destructive urges long enough to find her?" Self Inflicted is depicted as a dark romantic comedy or “a love story with a punch” and clocking in at just under 10 minutes, it does indeed pack quite a punch. The story of a masochist and his quest for love, Self Inflicted is a hilarious look at the quirks of humanity.

Jim has a little quirk wherein he loves pain. He’ll slam his hand in the door, then pour salt over the wound and gets giddy when hot coffee is accidently spilt on him. Unfortunately for Jim, this makes meeting women just a little hard to do, not to mention a little awkward. I mean, what do you say when you’re in bed with someone and they ask you to slap them? Or when you meet a cute guy whilst walking your dog down the street and after a couple of minutes of chatting, the cute guy leans down to pet your dog even though you warn him that the dog is a biter and the guy just grins and says that’s what he’s hoping for? We all have our quirks – it’s just a matter of finding the right quirky person to share them with. Jim finally meets a girl who seems to not notice or mind his addiction to pain. It turns out there’s a reason for that but it’s not exactly what Jim had in mind or what he was looking for at all.

This short is wonderfully done – well shot, terrific makeup when it comes to Jim’s wounds and Levi Anderson is a gem as Jim. The supporting cast also does a wonderful job here as well as director Ross Williams. Major props to writer Kristopher Horton for the story which was absolutely delightful in just the right twisted way.

If you’re a fan of shorts, especially the quirky ones, the good ones, definitely check out Self Inflicted to find out how Jim fares. Visit the Self Inflicted website, “like” them on Facebook or follow them on Twitter!

The Wanderers hit my desk this month and after giving the dvd cover the once over, I was pretty convinced this wasn’t going to be my type of movie. Mind you, I didn’t say I thought it was going to be a bad one, just not my type. Here’s the blurb: A man with amnesia elicits the help of his estranged small town brother and an eccentric underground TV personality as he travels from Texas to Los Angeles to uncover his past. And here’s the story: Ben Meadows, visiting his home town in Texas for the first time in ten years, ends up in a coma following a car accident on the way home from his mother’s funeral. When Ben wakes from his condition, his doctors realize he is suffering from amnesia. Ben’s younger brother, Lee, takes him home to recover and it isn’t long before Ben begins piecing his memory back together. In a bid to regain his now-lost past, Ben convinces Lee to travel with him to Los Angeles, California in an effort to track down their estranged father. Once in LA, the two discover that their father is not the same person they were hoping to reconnect with and find themselves falling deeper and deeper into a crime world they don’t understand. In this gritty tale set in today’s urban LA, two brothers come to the realization that some things are better left in the past where they belong.

So was I right about it not being my type of flick? Nope, I was pretty wrong on that score. A mix between mafia-esque, Memento and a crime caper, this movie held enough to keep me interested (although individually the only one of those characteristics that would have held my interest would have been Memento). It definitely goes to prove the adage of “Don’t judge a DVD by its cover.” If you’re a fan of gritty family dramas and crime capers with a hint of WTF?, this is a definite must see. The story moved along at a great pace and never once felt too long. The relationship between the brothers was great and got even better as it went on. Layton Matthews as the younger brother, Lee, was my favorite and to me the stand out of the film. He had his out of place cowboy, just barely holding on to the anger and composure thing pretty down pat. Kudos definitely go out to him. He also wrote and directed the film so triple kudos for accomplishing that, very impressive.

I loved how this was shot – it had that trippy quality you typically see in drug soaked cinema (which this was not) but it worked with the sped up shots and the, at times, garish colors. The story worked as well, with a couple of twists that I didn’t see coming and an interesting premise. I’d go so far as to call this one of the more original films I’ve seen of late and it always makes me happy to say that.

If you want to learn more about The Wanderers, check out their website and Facebook page to stay updated on all the latest such as where you watch the film yourself.

You know those friends who consistently want to tell you about their crazy dreams, the ones that don’t ever make any sense except to them and go on and on and on and on till you kind of just want to scream? Yeah? Well, that’s what Picnic Area 11 is about.

See James had the most amazing dream last night and desperately needs his roommate, Russ, to hear all about it. The problem is…well, there are two problems really. Russ hates hearing about dreams first of all and second of all the big business proposal he’s been stressing about for weeks just got pushed from 9 AM to 8 AM and he has to rush to get out the door. James is quite insistent though that he tell Russ his entire dream consisting of Russ’ ex-girlfriend, steaming corpses, a monkey, children in a mousetrap and all the usual dream-like tropes.

The script seems to be mostly improved but it works with such random lines as “Danielle was wearing a football helmet…I’m not sure why…but anyway…” that will be very familiar (not to mention humorous) to anyone who has had to sit through a retelling of someone else’s wacky dream featuring themselves and everyone they know. The camerawork is excellent and very professional looking for a low-budget, six minute short. The shots throughout are extremely well set up with James following Russ around their home as Russ gets ready even going so far as sitting in the bathroom with him while Russ showers. James in particular is quite amusing as the dream teller.

I thought the ending was going to be a bit different, which doesn’t necessarily mean the ending wasn’t a good one. It was a bit circular and I would’ve actually liked to have seen it play out in the more typical “dream within a dream” scenario that often closes television shows and the such. The ending animation for the credits was exceptional however.

Written in February, filmed in March, and edited in April, this short premiered May 11, 2013 and was the result of a group of passionate individuals coming together to create low budget (and cost) content, with high quality results. It seems more short films will be coming out from this group in the future and I can say with certainty that this is going to be a wonderful experiment in group filmmaking.

To learn more about Picnic Area 11 and upcoming projects, please visit their Facebook page and their YouTube channel.

The end has come, and a New World Order has arisen. Demi Holloway and Christen Brooks find themselves living in the apocalyptic era foretold in the Holy Bible. Now three years since the inception of the New World Order, the tyrant general known as the Supreme Chancellor sets out to bring the world under the rule of his master Lord Aldo De Luca. The Supreme Chancellor demands that all people of the world pledge their allegiance to Lord De Luca’s ideals by registry of a global census and that they should receive a mark to distinguish them as legal citizens of the order. Fixated with passion for his lord, the Supreme Chancellor orders all who fail to register themselves as citizens to be terminated. Demi and Christen are forced to make a choice to either live under the New World Order of the Antichrist or die for the testimony of Jesus Christ.

Having been raised in the Bible Belt, I’ve seen my fair share of faith based films. Some are good - more are not that great, at least quality wise when it comes to effects or cinematography. Things look a little too fake or the story is a little too convoluted to try to drive home its point and sometimes they just seem as if they were filmed with a random handheld. New World Order doesn’t fall prey to any of this. The quality of the film is good. It’s obviously not blockbuster material but for an indie film, it’s got good quality. Nothing was fake looking or cheesy and the story was good.

I’ve always been a fan of apocalyptic, dystopian films but have only seen a few mainstream ones with a religious twist. This film really dives into the book of Revelations and starts in fast and furious with the action as our protagonists, Demi and Christen, are in the back of a van with several other people being driven to what seems their imminent doom. Then via flashbacks we get the whole story of how they got here in the first place. After the Rapture, life went on mostly as normal until Lord De Luca came along and the New World Order began. Demi is adamant that she’ll never take the Mark of the Beast and Christen has no plans to do so either. Unfortunately for them, the rest of their family members do take the mark and Demi’s family turns her in to boot. They’re immediately on the run and find a group of refugees, other Christians who refuse to take the mark as well.

Anything further will lead to spoilers and a twist I didn’t see coming, although maybe I should have. The acting here is good. Demi (Melissa Farley) and Christen (Erin Runbeck) both shine, though Demi is the more powerful of the two. This is not a happy movie. In fact, I was pretty depressed afterwards. It was a good movie though and as far as Christian films go, by far one of the better ones that I’ve seen. If the book of Revelations or the 2nd coming of Christ is something you’re interested in and you don’t mind a few tears, then this will be right up your alley.

To find out more about New World Order visit their IMDB page or their website.

A group of intrepid bungling ghost hunters investigate the paranormal in this comedy horror film. These investigators are barely surviving each other’s company as they battle ghosts and poltergeists. A satire of ghost investigation TV shows, this farce turns up the heat on spirits that try to run from the team!

Adventures of the Haunted Hunted is the latest film from the creators of Suburban Sasquatch, Fungicide and Zombies by Design. Written by Dave Wascavage, David M. Sitbon, Bill Ushler and Jonathan Moody and starring Kati Jordan, Bill McCue, Todd Stuckley, Steve Kurtz, Bill Ushler, Valerie Negro, Rebecca Cyr, J. Jesse Daley, David Freed and Mike Jordan, this film spoofs shows featuring ghost hunters where the majority of the TV. show is filmed with night vision and lots of high tech (or maybe low tech) gadgets are used. All the ghost hunter tropes are here from the recording of EVP (electronic voice phenomenon) to the EMF meter and of course plenty of cameras.

There’s a wide range of characters here from the ghost hunter hillbilly who wears overalls and is obsessed with boobs (and being a ghost hunter because women like ghost hunters and he likes women) to the uptight woman local historian who is there to add a bit of actual fact about the places they’re visiting. Also along for the ride is the main guy who is obnoxious, slightly perverted and content to be the “pretty face” of the show, his sidekick, a cute girl with pigtails and an older man who is also slightly perverted. Okay, really, the majority of the men in this movie are slightly perverted. In fact, a lot of the movie is made up of sexual innuendos (“We have to go to Whackoff Lane!”), slow motion cat fights between the historian and the pigtail girl and plenty of talks about boobs and dick jokes. It’s a little on the juvenile side but it’s still a step up in humor from the Scary Movie movies, for example.

The general gist of the movie is that the ghost hunting team must visit 6 haunted places in one night. Why? I have no idea. But there you have it. Intercut with the visits to these various places are interviews with the team members from when they were being hired which adds a level of comedy that is, at times, a welcome relief from the regular action taking place. Besides the typical “Why do you want to be a ghost hunter?” questions, there’s also a required Rorschach test that leads to some interesting insight into the team members minds. The locations they’re visiting range from a man who keeps being “buggered” (as he puts it) by a malicious spirit to a daycare of death (otherwise known as Double D’s) – see what I mean about the sexual innuendos? Oh, and did I mention that there is one twisted squirrel? Seriously, the ending has to be seen to be believed. The main point of this movie though is more whether the team can survive a night with each other; much less survive the ghosts (which are few and far between).

This is a true indie gem, especially if you’re a fan of Z horror like me. Sure a couple of effects are a little cheesy but overall it’s a well shot film and since every person in this movie is supposed to be annoying (I think…) the cast does an excellent job. Pigtail girl was kind of adorable though.

Not for film snobs but definitely for those of us who hunt out those films made purely out of love and sometimes as a throwback to another era, Adventures of the Haunted Hunted is a fun romp – if you can handle all the sexual remarks that is.

If you want to learn more about the film (and their other offerings which I’m planning on checking out soon!), you can visit their site or follow them on Twitter. Here’s to the hilariously silly.

We just want to play is a short film, senior project from Team 3 Productions, which consists of:

Jimmy Capp,
Matt Freund,
Mike Morgese,
Frank DeRosa,
Ryan Conde, and
Anthony Futia.

The film is a “reworking” of National Lampoon’s 1978 film Animal House. The film looks great and obviously shot on a digital camera and the editing and sound all fit together nicely. The sets look great and feel fairly realistic.

Rogue Cinema favorite, Timothy J Cox graces the film as Athletics Director Dickerman and he is quite possibly the best thing about the film apart from the obvious enthusiasm of the cast and crew.

While the acting talents of most of the “students” leaves a tiny bit to be desired, the script and the set up for each one of the scenes works well and shows a lot of promise.

A lot of the usual “mistakes” that are present in student short films are missing here. There aren’t any ADR problems and the score of the film does not intrude and over-ride the actors spoken dialogue in their scenes.

Overall, this is a funny and loving parody of a classic comedy film.

Written, directed, and produced by Brett and Jason Butler, Mourning has Broken follows a husband (Robert Nolan) who wakes up to discover that his ill wife has died in the night.

This blackly comic film looks at a bereaved man trying to “ignore” his personal tragedy and reacting to things throughout his day in ever increasing acts of frustration and over-the-top consequences to the things and people that annoy the hell out of him.

We follow him as he goes through his day, crossing items off of his “chore” list; driving through town and picking up things and steadily getting a very stressed out attitude to all the irritating people he meets and interacts with.

The Butler brothers have done a brilliant job depicting a man who reacts to those things that irritate us as well. Getting annoyed at: bad drivers, poor parkers, inconsiderate idiots, pushy neighbors or customers, and taking his frustration out in ever increasing acts of ire.

Robert Nolan is brilliant as the man who can’t face his wife’s demise and instead goes out and tries to cope with life as if everything were normal. He shows each tiny crack as it starts to grow into a chasm that he is slowly toppling into. The thing he does best, in his ceaseless internal monologue, is to remind us how these things irritate us as well and how thin the line of control and acceptance really is.

Shot on the Canon 5D MKII, the film looks brilliantly crisp, clear and the lighting is spot on. Cinematographer Michael Jari Davison shot everything with existing light, even the scene in the cinema. You would never believe that this is a lo-no budget film.

This film was made as part of the Toronto 1K Feature Film Challenge, which meant it had to be shot, edited and finalized in a three-month turn around for one thousand Canadian dollars.