What do you get when you cross an ancient god, alchemy, corn and Australia? If you eat it, probably sick, but if you’re a filmmaker like Travers Doyle and Aaron Cassidy you get one of the strangest exports from the land down under to appear in years: THE HORROR OF CORNHOLE COVE.

Trevor and AJ (Doyle and Cassidy) are a pair of small time hoods who have a job to do: they’ve got to deliver a pair of special Italian chickens to a remote chicken farm for their boss Dario. Things don’t go well for the pair when their car breaks down and they begin walking to their destination. The chickens and the corn they carry to feed them begin to attract unwanted attention from mutants roaming the countryside.

Apparently a mad doctor in the region by the name of Professor Klackemhiemer had been experimenting with the black arts and science. His goal: to resurrect an ancient god and discover the secret of alchemically changing corn to gold. This sort of experimentation never goes well and Klackemhiemer’s schemes are no exception. His use of chickens in the process causes his downfall as a strain of the bird flu infects his progeny. Now the ancient god is a giant floating ass that shoots corn, and all who are infected with the god’s evil powers are turned into the afore-mentioned mutants, whose attributes include giant penises, an unquenchable lust for corn and an equally unquenchable penchant for buggery. Now AJ and Trevor must protect their posteriors and their chickens, while finding some way to stop Klackemhiemer’s giant ass from destroying the world.

THE HORROR OF CORNHOLE COVE is possibly one of the oddest things to come out of Australia, ever. Doyle and Cassidy’s film is heavy on toilet humor and gross applications of cream corn. It also features more prosthetic genitals than any non-pornographic film I’ve seen. There is monkey kung fu, fake puppet chickens, lots of Australian slang and a complete lack of regard for socially acceptable behavior. On the plus side, the interactions between Trevor and AJ are often humorous and the cut away shots to the mysterious mobster Dario are generally funny to watch, especially when he tries to threaten AJ and Trevor through long winded anecdotes that they don’t understand. Eventually though the jokes wear thin and the story proves hard to follow. Then again, if you’re watching a film called THE HORROR OF CORNHOLE COVE you probably aren’t looking for intense mental stimulation. If you’re looking for a movie that is low on plot, high on crude humor and if you have a love of corn or a penchant for buggary,  then check out Travers Doyle and Aaron Cassidy’s film THE HORROR OF CORNHOLE COVE. However, don’t blame me if you loose your taste for creamed corn, I know I did.