I recently had a request from one of my readers to write an article about b-movies, romance and how to find a girl that you could cuddle up on the couch with while you enjoy a nice b-style movie together. So I thought about it a bit, and this is what I came up with…
For any relationship to work, compatibilities must exist between the two interested parties. Unfortunately, because movies are such an integral part of the dating process, this can often lead to strife in the relationship when one person likes one type of movie and the other person has no interest in them whatsoever. This disjunction between the cinematic likes and dislikes of two individuals is often the catalyst for dissolution of the relationship. Why is this? Well, the importance of film in the social aspects of dating is often overlooked, and therefore not at the forefront of people’s thoughts when looking to form a new relationship. Think about it though. How many times have you asked someone out, and on the first date you asked them to go see a movie? It’s one of the easiest dates to ask for, because unlike asking someone to dinner, you don’t have to worry about looking like an idiot when you spend twenty minutes having an uncomfortable conversation with someone while you have a piece of food stuck to the side of your mouth. Movie dates work because they allow you to be with the person and to sit close to them without having to worry about any of the awkward conversation that comes with so many of the other date types of activities. It also allows you the time to get comfortable with each other physically before you move on to the “getting to know you” conversational part of the date.
Now for the b-movie fan, the movie date can be a good thing, as it gives you the opportunity to feel out what kind of a person you’re really going out with. The choice of what film to see is always an important indicator, as this can be a good indication of whether or not you’re compatible cinematically. Let’s use two young people named Bob and Martha as an example.
Bob is really attracted to Martha, but he doesn’t know all that much about her, so he decides to ask Martha to the movies and then to some other fun activity afterwards just to get to know her better and see where things go. First Bob makes a little small talk, and then after a bit of chit chatting, he asks her if there’s been any movies that have come out lately that she’s been wanting to see. Now Bob is really into horror movies and cult cinema, and Martha’s answer to his question will quite possibly be a good indicator as to whether or not this will be a relationship worth pursuing. If she chooses some sort of a “chick flick” like a romantic comedy or a romantic drama, then it’s probably a good indication that there’s going to be a big gap in their compatibility should they continue to pursue the relationship. If she says that she’d like to see a horror, sci-fi, or other type of adventure movie, then it’s a pretty safe bet that cinema is one love that they’ll be able to share, and one that will ultimately draw them closer together. The problem with this technique of feeling someone out however comes when the person being asked chooses a neutral movie like a straight comedy. Nearly everyone loves a good comedy, so this would give you no indication whatsoever of what her other movie interests are. Unfortunately for Bob, Martha expressed a desire to see a new comedy that had just come out.
So Bob and Martha went out on their date and had a great time together. They laughed and talked and had a nice dinner, but Bob found himself avoiding the topic of cult cinema because he knew that a lot of girls weren’t into that sort of thing and he didn’t want to scare her off. Still, Bob knew in his heart that if he came to discover that she didn’t like those types of films, there would be a piece of his life that he could never really share with her, and therefore, there would always be a gap in the relationship that he would have to deal with if they were going to be together for the long term. Bob decided that he liked Martha enough to keep trying, so he started dropping little hints and checking her reactions. One day at lunch he opened his hamburger, stuck a French fry through the meat patty and then put catsup around it. He joked about it being so rare that he had to stab it just to make sure it was dead. Martha laughed at this, which made Bob’s heart flutter. This was a good sign!
Later that afternoon, as they were walking through the mall together, they came upon a DVD shop that Bob often shopped at. He knew they carried a lot of cult film character statues and figurines, and saw this as a good chance to figure out if Martha was really a good match for him or not. They walked in and Bob started pointing out statues of various characters from different films as they proceeded through the shop. He asked her if she had ever seen any of the movies the various characters had been in. Martha said that she hadn’t and asked Bob if they were any good. Bob’s heart soared as he contemplated being able to share his love of cult cinema to her. He showed her some of the boxes of the various films, and when Martha expressed an interest in seeing one of them, Bob asked her if she’d like to come back to his place so they could make some popcorn and watch the movie together. She agreed, and they soon found themselves back at his place.
The movie that Martha had picked out was a horror film, and as they sat on Bob’s couch watching it together, Martha kept cuddling closer and closer as the scary parts of the movie flashed across the screen one after another. Bob gently put his arm around her, and as the light from the television flickered about the darkened room, a romance was born.
Unfortunately for Bob, this could have just as easily gone the other way. Martha might not have laughed at his French fry in the burger joke, instead thinking it was quite childish. She might not have been interested at all in any of the numerous figurines in the DVD shop, and she might never have agreed to go back to Bob’s apartment to watch some creepy horror movie. The fact that she did so told Bob that she was cool and that she was definitely someone he’d want to have a relationship with. This story had a happy ending, but unfortunately, there are many other’s out there in this world that don’t.
It’s hard to find someone with the same interests as you, and most especially the same taste in movies and pop culture. I was fortunate in that I was spared this feeling out process because I found someone who was so much like me, that we couldn’t help but to become best friends almost instantly, and we remain so to this day. On August 1, 2004, we will have been married for seven wonderful years. My DVD collection as of this writing now amounts to one thousand and forty three DVDs, and never once in all these years has she complained about my collection or refused to watch any film with me because it was too icky or scary or whatever. She is truly a wonderful person, and I only hope that you all will be as lucky as I was in finding someone that shares (or at least tolerates) your love of low budget and cult cinema.
The feeling out process can be difficult, but if these types of movies are a big part of your life, then it’s worth the time and effort to find someone who shares that love. Otherwise, you may find yourself in relationship that you can never be completely happy with because there will always be a part of yourself that you can’t share with the other person, and that’s no way to live.