Bikini Vampire Babes (2010) – By Brian Morton

Comedy is very hard to do. And, when it’s done badly, it can really head south fast! Well, a new comedy, Bikini Vampire Babes, takes comedy and does a bit of twisting and really doesn’t do much with it.

The storyline here is pretty thin; an ancient vampire (who happens to be a hot babe) keeps herself in money by competing in and winning bikini contests. When she loses one, she bites the winner and makes the poor girl her minion. Soon, the two are traveling to Las Vegas to compete in an international bikini contest! On the way, the two are hunted by the minion’s ex-boyfriend and meet several people who they bite…and that’s about it! There’s attempts to bring in a vampire hunter whose family was killed by the ancient vampire, who just happens to come across their trail…and there’s several attempts at comedy by the ex-boyfriend character, but they all fall short of anything that will keep your attention.

Aside from getting attractive girls into bikinis for the entire shoot, I wonder what Ted West might have been thinking. This feels more like a porn movie that just didn’t get around to the sex…sure the girls are pretty, and sure they’re wearing bikinis exclusively throughout the entire movie, but the story is so weak and the acting is so marginal that the girls is all this movie has going for it!

I’m giving Bikini Vampire Babes 1 out of 4 cigars; it’s a great movie if you just like to look at girls in bikinis, but if you’re looking for a story or some acting…then look somewhere else! You can find out for yourself, by heading over to