Building a Better Mad Scientist – By Danny Runion

Mad science is going to almost remembered to bring to mind Dr. Frankenstein and the creature. Screaming “It’s alive” in absolute triumph to justify the ridicule suffered for years is quite a relief. You still need to do more. For any super-genius experimenting out there, these are just a few tips that will definitely help prevent some of your ordinary problems. The idea of a brilliant, deranged, wild-haired lab-coated madman has been too often besmirched. It is safe to say that no internet university has a way to get the doctorate in any truly recognized mad-science based degree. These are just a few of the ideas that will help with those small problems. Hopefully, these small steps will allow you plenty of time to tamper in the larger realms of science faster for the brilliant ideas that have been roaming in your minds.

It stands on a desolate, mountain landscape: the proud, age-worn, turreted castle. An important part to make a better mad scientist is realty. After all, don’t realtors keep repeating: location, location, location? The lab needs to be located in a lower-populated area but not to the low desolated areas where you look like the crazed psycho-killer. With the rise of doomsday underground bunkers, they would work quite well for hidden underground areas. Any kind of improvements especially are going to help slow down any angry torch-wielding mobs from reaching you.

How does personality improve the mad scientist? It’s safe to say the European noble birth, air of autocracy is not going to win many friends. The generic stand-offish creepy Dr. Herbert West vibe will not be influencing people in living or agreeable ways. How many times could it be easier to get past guards in cemeteries and mortuaries if not screaming how brilliant your experiment is to everyone in a 5 mile radius? While muttering about “bureaucratic fools” under your breath may work for Indiana Jones, he wasn’t a mad scientist. The servant or the creature typically will only go so far before getting tired of the “good” doctor mocking them to the point of retaliating in a explosive and truly fatalistic manner.

A few standard safety measures will save you from plenty of grief. The lab needs plenty of heavy duty surge protectors and generators for lightning strikes. Fire safety was never thought of much when those torch wielding villagers struck. A good sprinkler system plenty of fire detectors currently updated with new batteries could prevent that great life work from going up in smoke. A thick blast proof door with a couple of dead-bolts could keep most of those snoopy reporters, relatives, fiancées, etc… from investigating around which tends to start the endgaming to anger the locals.

The personal butler that serves as your lab attendant should not always have the name of Igor. With the money to build the science project, any decent mad scientist should provide a quality health care package for whatever their ailments and disfigurements their servants endure whether they are they dwarfism, gigantism, hunchback, eye-patches, etc… Medical break proof glass containers, extra slip-proof floor grips to prevent falling. How many times have a doctor’s assistant fell and broke the glass containing the brain, heart, or other organ to be used in the experiment?

The scientific creation that will propel the mad scientist from the under breath of the medical field to super-recognition by colleagues should be treated better than being locked in a small room to be beaten and flogged. Would the being have always returned to roar with rage and vengeance to trash the lab if he’d been given a few nice meals rather than always the soupy gruel? An easy entertaining toy would prevent most monsters from spending enough time to accidentally escaping to run a muck.