Carnivore (2002) – By Danny Runion

I tried looking up some information about this movie. What I found out is that this movie was made in the late 80’s and for most of the 90’s. What would you call a movie
that took more than 10 years and wound up like this? If mess is your first guess, you would be on the right track. It is hard to believe people would work for so long on a
movie like this one. When they had some money, they would work on it, and then take a break, and then when they got more money they’d work on it some more. I was kind of hoping maybe it would end up being something like “Bad Taste,” which was made for the most part on weekends over the course of about four years. That’s about the only comparison I can make between these two movies. Well, I guess I could make one more. “Bad Taste” was good. This pile of cinematic crap isn’t. Although with all the clichés in the late 80’s horror movies, I guess it is a little better than average.

I have to respect anybody who keeps working on a movie so long. That kind of determination is admirable, but unfortunately I never heard of any of the actors in this movie before
or after. The story is pretty clichéd, but at least the scientist that was working on the project was just following orders. That beats the usual “cut my funding before I can
finish and prove my work” cliché, which seems to be used all too often.

What do you say when your movie’s monster looks like a love child of a Gremlin and a Critter with a dash of Ghoulie thrown in for a disgustingly kinky monster
hybrid? The monster has Predator infrared vision because it looks cool and it’s a cheap effect, and although the old tried and true technique of keeping the monster unseen may make the
xenomorph in the Alien movies more terrifying, it comes across more in this film as not wanting the viewers to see what it really looks like in an effort to keep them from laughing.

The plot even included some of the various evil government conspiracies from the X-Files into the mix. These ideas never bring about anything but do lengthen the film. Does a scene with a shadowy government officer ordering someone to be executed before learning the truth really need to in the movie? When such a
short movie has the plot padded out to give them the almost infamous 90 minute run time, it almost seems that the film’s length is more important than the story.

There wasn’t really anyone to relate to in this movie, and I found myself kind of hoping that everyone would die. All the characters we had watched for the first fifty minutes
or so vanished and then we got a new group of idiots to hate. These are all unlikable characters, but at least, it was refreshing that the teen guy didn’t save the girl and she didn’t fall
hopelessly for the schmuck. The film manages to have a relatively decent kill total, which is fine because it’s not like those who survived improved the movie at all.