Children of Scum (2007) – By Duane L. Martin

Of the three films from Danny Grossman I reviewed in this issue, I purposely saved this one for last.  Why?  Because it’s absolutely and undeniably brilliant, and even now I’m stumbling over my words trying to find enough good things to say about it.

Children of Scum is a mock retrospective about a film called Children of Scum, in which they go back and talk to the three main stars of the film.  Garrett Garson (played by Danny Grossman), Erik von Vandenburgh (played by Greg Kaczynski) and MeShelle (played by Allegra Hollenbeck).  Essentially, picture the stupidest, worst and most hilarious film you can imagine, and that’s Children of Scum, and yet the actors talk fondly about it as though it were an iconic part of the cinematic landscape.

The film itself (which is a fake film that doesn’t really exist) is about two drug using, alcoholic brothers and their hooker sister.  Unfortunately, they didn’t know they had a sister and both ended up having sex with her.  When they found out, they killed their parents because they discovered that they were the "Children of Scum".  Sound stupid?  Oh my god it is, but it’s stupid in an incredibly hilarious way, and one clip they showed with the sister and her pimp had me laughing so hard I could hardly breathe.

As with all of Danny Grossman’s films, the acting and production quality are both first rate.  This film however stands out as special amongst the others.  As silly as this is, you actually kind of lose yourself in the story and almost start taking it seriously.  That’s how good the acting was and how well it was played out.

I didn’t want this film to end.  When it did I was really disappointed.  Don’t get me wrong though.  This film was the perfect length and tightly edited with no real slack to speak of.  I was just sad when it was over because I was having so much fun watching it.  Danny Grossman has an incredible grasp of comedy and what’s funny, and he uses his skills to their fullest potential in this film.  How he’ll top this I don’t know, but I have the distinct feeling that he will.  He’s a natural at what he’s doing, and people with talent like that always seem to continually top themselves.

If you’d like to find out more about this film, you can check out its page on the SOCAL Film Group’s website at