Concoctionous 2012/2013 Predict-Resolutions – By Danny Runion

The Millennium Bug of 2000 or the Mayan end times of 12-12-2012 thankfully didn’t hit us. Either of them only seemed to confuse us into disaster movie styled countdown documentaries. What will be the new ominous end-time for us? From all the mega-weather events to presumed-zombie apocalypse movies if the Mega-Honey-Boo-Boo-Bieber Versus the Amish Mafia Gungdam movie won’t release, the world will just have to be a far more rotten place. Well, at least, all the particularly lame bad end-calendar jokes have hit the end of usage.

The start of the 2013 hasn’t inflamed the jet-pack industry. However, a smart phone with enough apps to resemble a Star Trek communicator/tricorder as to be coming. I’m still waiting for a steady Mr. Fusion reactor composed of transparent aluminum. These are just a couple of the technological necessary to help humanity against any attempts by artificial intelligence to overthrow humanity.

Has anyone ever accomplished any of their last year resolutions? The mere fact that you kept a scrap of paper with any resolutions scrawled on it even mentioning the mere though of not using a smart-phone for a few hours would be monumental. The typical resolutions have been worn down like dull san-paper. How many millions toss weight loss resolutions around more than Jason Voorhees at a teen summer-camp clean up? What kind of psychological and psychiatric problems will you question be they arguing with yourself and losing or any of those others types?

5. I resolve to not subject the world to most of my pathetically recycled resolutions from previous years.

4. We need to not subject the world to every single pathetic nerd in-joke ever composed.

3. No pathetic attempts at world domination but only absolutely personal island conquest.

2. Watch the second season of Hunter, the Fred Dryer1980s action brilliance.

1. Zombie-proof the house which should prevent any brain slug/leech Night of the Creeps, too.