Decoys (2004) – By Mark Hite

Seeing that fall is upon us once again, all the kiddies (both big and small) have put yet another foot forward on the long journey towards that elusive diploma. That said, I thought it was time to brighten school spirits for everyone with a review full of drunk freshmen, pre marital sex, and two blonde coeds; who are really aliens out to murder gullible male classmates on campus. Put on your learning caps as I bring you the movie Decoys.

Director Matthew Hastings brings us the tale of two college freshmen on a Canadian campus. The boys, Luke (Corey Sevier) and Roger (Elias Toufexis, a chunkier dead ringer for Elijah Wood), meet transfer students Lily (Stefanie von Pfetten) and Constance (Kim Poirier). Aside from being awed by the lady’s model-like presence, Luke becomes even more amazed when he discovers that Lily and Constance have tentacles that shoot from their chest. Luke spends the better half of the movie trying to convince Roger and the rest of his friends that the girls are aliens. Meanwhile, the girls continuously knock off horny guys in most unpleasant ways.

Luke becomes part of a murder investigation led by bad cop Francis Kirk. Luckily for Luke, former lady friend Detective Watts (Nicole Eggert of Baywatch fame) is on his side. Also working side by side with Luke is another lady friend by the name of Alex (Meghan Ory). Luke eventually gets down to the bottom of the girl’s plot. They are from the Belt Of Orion on a mission to reproduce with college guys who obviously make things easy for them. The girls are in Canada because their body temperature needs to stay at a constant low. Unfortunately for their victims, they have yet to successfully find a way to reproduce without freezing their partners to death. Eventually Luke exposes them for what they are and takes the sorority house in the climax.

The film moves along at a decent pace offering up more funny moments than blood and guts. The CGI is often a bit generic in parts but still assists in serving up some well timed scares. The Canadian campus adds a nice cold atmosphere to the film which is just what a movie about killer alien nymphos needs. The special effects team more than likely did their best with their budget and were able to make things believable enough. Lovers of suspense will find the pace of the film acceptable as well.

The film uses touches upon ingredients tried time and time again by sci-fi films such as Invasion Of The Body Snatchers and Species. Although some may write it off as a rip off, the film takes up it’s own identity in the realm of killer alien movies. Along the lines of Scream, this film never seems to take itself too seriously but still made sure it brought enough scares with it.

So for all you guys testing out a new dorm, think twice about the girl next door who wants to hit the hay with you. You may just find yourself with dealing with something more terrifying than a paternity test.