Dracula’s Dirty Daughter (2007) – By Brian Morton

 I know there’s a huge debate these days over the whole gay marriage thing and I keep hearing that America is mostly anti-gay, but, if you take a look at the low budget film business, it seems that lesbian movies must be very popular, because there are so darn many of them! Case in point, the latest from Secret Key Motion Pictures, called Dracula’s Dirty Daughter.

The story here is pretty simple, Dracula’s daughter has spent the last couple of hundred years tracking down the reincarnation of Dr. Van Helsing in her quest for revenge. Her plan is simple, find him, get him to fall in love with her and then use that love to steal his soul and send it to hell so he can’t be reincarnated again! Now, since she’s found him, and while she’s getting him to love her (which she really doesn’t have that hard a time doing), she might as well pick up some chicks and swing a little. The problem with this movie is pretty evident, while the idea is pretty good, more time is spent watching women get it on than on the horror aspect of the movie, and, while that might work for most of you out there, it really didn’t do much for me.

Now, before you all start sending me hate mail, let me explain, I have no problem with nekkid women…in fact, I’m a big fan…the problem I have is when that’s the whole point of the movie. When the story takes a back seat to the nudity, you lose me guys and, while the ladies are hot and the kernel of the story has potential, the movie overall, just falls a little flat. There’s even a set up for a sequel that also seems to have potential, let’s just hope that next time, as much time is spent crafting a great story as there is in finding girls with great bodies! I’m giving Dracula’s Dirty Daughter two and a half out of four cigars, and that’s really all I felt it deserved, I hate to give a rating that low, especially to such attractive ladies, but when we do the follow up, I’d like to see a little more story and a little less nudity. So, until next time, when I’ll try to keep my clothes on, after all, no one wants to see that, do they? Until then, remember that the best movies are bad movies.