All right, it’s Halloween, my favorite time of the year and the perfect time of year to rent a Halloween movie. No, I don’t mean a horror movie, I mean a “Halloween” movie or one of it’s many sequels and you might be wondering about Halloween 3: Season Of The Witch? Well, if you’re looking for a great Halloween movie that’ll scare you on All Hallows Eve, then, by all means, you should absolutely avoid Halloween 3: Season Of The Witch at all costs!
If you’re like me, and I’m assuming that you are, you loved Michael Meyers chasing around babysitters and killing them one at a time in Halloween and Halloween 2. So, logically, Halloween 3 should pick up and carry on with the jolly old mayhem and gore where the others left off, right? Wrong! If you assumed that, you, like me, would be oh so very wrong. This is the story of a guy who hates Halloween masks. Well, there’s a little more to it than that. This stars Tom Atkins as Dr. Daniel Challis, who is treating an old man who is screaming about people who are going to kill us all, and clutching a Halloween mask. When the old man is killed in the hospital, Dr. Challis begins digging into this mystery only to find out that he was right, the mask company is trying to kill everyone. Now, why a mask company would want to kill everyone in the country is kind of beyond me, because if we’re all dead, who will buy the masks at Halloween time? But, that aside, as a Halloween sequel this is something of a joke. There’s no Michael Meyers, there’s no Donald Pleasance running around telling us that Michael is evil, and there’s no babysitters to be killed off one by one. There’s just masks. You see, the masks are the tools of an evil company who plans to kill everyone in the country with said masks. Ironically, the head of this evil Halloween mask company is the same evil company executive who runs Omni Consumer Products in the Robocop movies, so I’m assuming that this was before he was promoted and took over the company and tried to take over Detroit, but that’s another movie for another time. Anyway, they’re using some kind of giant obelisk, from Stonehenge, and they’re taking chips from this stone and using it’s occult power to generate a tone on the TV that causes the mask to kill you. It seems like a huge expense to undertake just to take over the world or kill a bunch of people or whatever they’re trying to do, it’s never quite clear.
The high points of this movie are few and far between. There’s a couple of memorable ‘death by mask’ scenes, one that involves a kid who’s head is turned into bugs which is particularly cool, but overall this is a real snooze-fest. When the best part of your movie is the damned jingle, (which, by the way, won’t leave my head Happy, Happy Halloween, Silver Shamrock, it won’t get out of there, I expect my head to turn into bugs at any time) then you know you’re in trouble. So, if it’s a Halloween movie that you’re after then may I suggest Halloween or Halloween 2 or Halloween 4, pretty much any of the Halloween series EXCEPT number 3. Unless, of course, you’re after a really sub-par non-sequel sequel that really isn’t all that scary and really isn’t, what we in the reviewing field like to call… good. It’s Halloween 3: Season Of The Witch and it’s a movie not worth watching!
Happy Halloween to you all… just not Happy Halloween 3!