Hercules Against The Moon Men (1964) – By Matt Singer

If you’ve seen one 1960s European Hercules movie then you’ve seen them all, but if you haven’t seen one that’s still no reason to see the dreary HERCULES AGAINST THE MOON MEN. Here the mighty Hercules must help an enslaved people rebel against their vicious alien overlords from the Moon and you must fight boredom to keep your finger from hitting the stop button on your DVD player.

This is a movie with a half hour of plot drizzled lightly over ninety minutes of running time. “Action” set pieces go on for unbearable ages: dig Hercules holding open the jaws of a deadly knife trap, straining, grunting, sweating, and generally looking like a really buff and hairy version of Robert Evans, for eight minutes before finally breaking the damn thing. Some times the filmmakers blatantly recycle footage to stretch out sequences – Hercules dumps one soldier into the same large bucket of water in the exact same way twice in one fight. Like an alcoholic, Hercules just doesn’t know when to say when.

As a personal aside, can I ask you a question? Why does Hercules always wear that weird sash over his shoulder? It would appear to be part of his tunic, keeping the whole garment attached to his person, but in Hercules Against The Moon Men he appears with or without it with equal frequency, but even when he’s not wearing it his shorts still stay up (I guess that’s what the big doofy belt is for). It just seems rather pointless to me. Ponder these and other fashion emergencies rather than watch this horrendous picture.