Horny Diver: Tight Shellfish (1985) – By Duane L. Martin

Mr. Matsunaga is a greedy developer who visits a small fishing village and wants to buy up large bits of land so he can turn the small fishing village into a tourist destination. To that end, he hires an ambitious young man named Junpei to bed the local girls in an effort to convince them to sell off their land, but will they, or will Junpei actually find love among the diving girls and give up on helping the corrupt Mr. Matsunaga?

Yes folks, it’s another Nikkatsu Japanese sex film from Synapse’s Impulse label. This one is #18 in the collection, and is, I think anyway, located in the same fishing village as Nympho Diver, which was another one of these releases I reviewed a while back. The difference with this one though is that where Nympho Diver was a really fun film, this one has sort of a minimal mess of a story that only serves to get us from one sex scene to another.

I’ve commented on the sex in some of the other films in this series by saying that the guys looked like twitchy twelve year olds having sex for the first time. There’s quite a bit of sex like that in this film, and it’s all very forgettable. There are however two quite memorable moments in this film, and not only are they memorable, but they’re pretty funny, and both happen during the same bit of the story. The location is a local bar. First we have a girl who is drinking out of a several different bottles, one after another…with a straw sticking out of her vagina. Then she gyrates around and mixes it all together in there, and shoots it back out through the straw into customer’s mouths for tips. When she runs out and has an extra customer, she shoots something else through the straw all over his face, and I’m betting you can guess what that was. After her bit of the show is over, this other girl comes out and dances around a bit and then shoves a small octopus into her vagina. When a customer wants a closer look, she lifts her leg up and shows him, and the guy catches a face full of octopus ink. This whole scene in the bar is really about the only memorable scene in the whole film. The rest of it was just filled with lame sex and a pointless mess of a story.

Now, does that make it bad to sit through? No, not at all. That’s the thing about the lighter, more fun Nikkatsu films like this one. Even though it’s not that great, it’s not unpleasant to sit through either. There’s something fun and quaint about these types of films. The serious ones, if they’re bad, can be quite tedious to sit through, but the light, fun ones, even if they’re not that good or have a weak story, are still enjoyable to watch, at least to a point. That’s what this one was for me. It doesn’t have a great story, and it’s somewhat confusing at times and the sex isn’t all that great, but while I was sitting there watching it, I didn’t hate it. It wouldn’t be my first choice in the series, but I’d certainly choose one of the lighter films in the series over the more serious ones any day.

It’s not bad, it’s not great, but it’s #18 in the Nikkatsu Films collection, and if you’ve been collecting these films from Synapse’s Impulse label, you’ll want to pick yourself up a copy. This release includes newly translated English subtitles, the original theatrical trailer and liner notes from film scholar, Jasper Sharp.

If you’d like to find out more about this film, you can check out its page on the Synapse Films website here, and if you’d like to pick up a copy of the DVD for yourself, you can get it from Amazon, or from any of the other usual outlets.