How to be an Anime Hero – By Danny Runion

The 3 dimensional world has given you so much grief to make you renounce it for a less dimensional world. What world you like? The idea of running away from fantasy may be childish but go whole hog. No silly dreams where you rule the world. What good is there in world domination? Need to give some thought to the wonderful world of anime. Where else can you have cool hair, weapons, brightly colored haired woman, and epic fights with your nemesis?

This is just a small list of the benefits of becoming an anime hero. This checklist may seem common enough to be considered standard for all anime. However, it can’t be comprehensive with as many different genres of anime as there are. I’m trying to ignore the more comedic series which are almost required to have the obligatory fan-service shots or the trip to hot tub episodes.

1. Cool Hair: All anime heroes must have cool hair. That is a requirement that has to be followed under penalty of having to appear in a Pokemon episode. The hair may be a bit spiky looking but still Jack Lord would claim that it is cool enough for him. So you know if is good enough for McGarrett of Hawaii 5-0, it has to be better than you really deserve. Typically, heroines need to pick hair colors that reflect their personalities and to also help differentiate from other female characters like in Tenchi Muyo.

2. Weapon: Just go with the words of Obi Wan Kenobi about how a light saber is a far more elegant weapon than a blaster. Your weapon should be a katana or any other wicked looking sword. D in Vampire Hunter Dis a sword master. Guns for the most part aren’t considered cool enough. If you do have a gun, it needs to be a revolver or something with very limited number of rounds. Vast onTrigun, Alucard on Hellsing, or Gene Starwind from Outlaw Star show what can be done with a small number of bullets. No rapid firing guns are allowed unless attached to some sort of mecha.

3. The Attitude: The more emotionally distant or brooding you appear to everyone, the more the women want to throw themselves at you. D in Vampire Hunter Dcould only be more emotionally distant if he were in another time zone. That still couldn’t keep Doris from swooning for the long haired, sword wielding hunter. Hiro from Gundam Wingintroduced himself to Relena by tearing up an invitation to her birthday party and promising to destroy her. All that seemed to do was inspire her to pursue him like Wile E. Coyote chased the Roadrunner.

4. Fights: While a single fight doesn’t have to run for 100 episodes like in Dragonball Z, if you’re going to have a cataclysmic battle with your arch-enemy, it has to be just right for it to be truly memorable. Remember screaming battle cries is a given. While "Tetsuooooooooooooo" and "kamemayemay" may both be worn out, a new battle cry can still focus your chi and fighting skills to new levels previously thought impossible to utterly crush your arch-enemy who can’t comprehend your powers.