Is there such a thing as a perfect movie? I guess it’s all relative – what’s perfect to me may not be perfect to you – but INSTRUMENTS OF EVIL comes pretty damn close to being MY perfect movie. Honestly. It’s silly and ridiculous; bloody and cheesy; an anthology AND throwback to days of old (like, ya know, the 80s?)…it’s practically perfect in every way. It’s the best anthalogy I’ve seen since Volumes of Blood, as a matter of fact.
You guys know the anthology drill quite well by now – series of stories tied together in some way, often being framed within another story – right? I have to admit to being a fan of anthalogies (well, when they work. which isn’t always), and this one works (boy does it!). The outer story is about Loki distracting Odin with a band of demons so he can go canoodle with Odin’s wife, Freya. Odin finds out and is all “Grrr-bunnies!” and kicks Loki out, then does something to the band that results in the demons being scattered over earth, to come back in the form of different instruments and commit evil. Odin now realizes that MAYBE this wasn’t his brightest idea ever (duh), so he makes some Viking dude immortal and sends him off to scour the lands until the instruments are found and destroyed with THE SUPER SWORD THAT DEFEATS BAD MUSIC! (Nah, I don’t remember if it had a name; just totes making that up.) Now that Viking dude is off, we watch him go throughout the years till we reach the more modern world. He manages to destroy the wind instrument sometime in the 40s (oh – it’s a wind instrument, drum, violin and then a voice that he’s searching for), but after that it takes awhile.
Next up, is the police station where a bunch of cops are doing inventory or something, and transferring all their evidence there. So, buncha cops coming through with boxes of junk, who then keep stopping to talk to the guy at the front desk to tell him the cases behind the objects. AND from there it’s: dildos winning in knife fights; hip hop zombies; an evil genius who’s not very smart; demonic glam metal bands…god, it’s such a blast!
Yes, there are a couple of problems (it is a film, after all), but nothing so big it offsets the ridiculously funny romp through music & time. From voodoo to rappers, evil violinists to superficial sacrifices, (oh and the vikings!) it’s hysterical, and I just wanted to know what came next. The dialogue is witty and people are clearly having fun with it. The acting is good – not great, but for such a low-budget film, it’s GOOD. Set design may have been my favorite feature here though. All the details were thought of (something that’s missing in a lot of these types of films) and god, those buildings were perfect! The special effects were pretty amazing too. There was some obvious CGI but all the practical effects and gore were grossly fun.
INSTRUMENTS OF EVIL may not be YOUR perfect movie, but if you don’t watch it, you’re definitely missing out. Visit the website (where you can purchase the DVD!) and quickly! You never know what’s lurking right around the corner…