Living a B-Movie – By Danny Runion

Do you question reality very often? If not, do you question it strangely? For most people, it is safe to say that not many super-powered individuals live in their neighborhoods. Each of us know or maybe are that person who seems to be living in a movie. Well, we haven’t started seeing bright green programming code flow over all aspects of the planet. In life, each of us wouldn’t have good computer generated or stop-motion special effects good enough for flying saucer to look like a Frisbee wrapped in aluminum foil.

Mechanical breakdowns are typically more common place in movies unless that mid-Chevy van hasn’t seen a mechanic in the past 3 decades or so. The probability of a vehicle to breakdown increases as one drives into the higher deserted and creepy areas. Bad cell phone reception is magnified nearer to the proximity of carnivorous monsters or escaped sociopaths from asylums for the criminally insane. However, most of these life problems should be solved by explosions, guns, or extremely pointy stabbing objects.

Geography is another unreality in movies. Small populated areas do not have a minority of 10 abandoned or dilapidated cemeteries, castles, or mansions per every square mile. Mad scientists are not living in enough of rural areas the mere mentioning of their names to terrify all the townsfolk in local inns and taverns. Godzilla of his acquaintances are more concerned with demolishing urban areas of Tokyo than elsewhere.

Personal family and career problems are some of the main problems of people everywhere. Nothing seems to reunited trouble families back together more than rampaging giant monsters especially of the reptilian sort. These monsters are also so good as to bring fighting couples or pair new couples. Yes, who knew that monsters were so good at family therapy and dating relationships? Disgruntled, depressed protagonists failed careers tend to be revived for brilliantly saving the world.

What does all of this mean? If an old car with an arguing couple breaks down near a run-down castle, it should be café to say that you’re not quite in this land of reality unless someone tricked you onto a prank reality show. Whatever problems you do tend to suffer, it is safe to say don’t rely on being saved by Kung Fu priests.