Lust for Frankenstein (1998) – By Brian Morton

 There comes a time when it’s time to hang it up and walk away. We’ve all seen it done and we all respect someone who’d rather walk away when they’re on top, rather than milking it until the bitter end and ultimately being remembered as someone who used to be. Well, I hate to say it, but Jess Franco might be in the later part of that group.

I just finished Lust From Frankenstein, and I have to say, this is one of the most confusing movies I’ve seen. Now, Franco has been making movies since the 50s, so I’m not one to get up on my high horse about whether or not he’s a good film-maker because it would take me the rest of the month to get through his body of work! And that’s to be respected, someone who’s done it that long obviously has the skills and talents to have got them to the dance to start with. But, this isn’t one of his best.

Lust For Frankenstein can’t decide whether it’s a horror movie or a soft-core porn. In fact, it’s a disturbing combination of both! The basic story is about Moira Frankenstein, the original monster maker’s daughter, trying to revive her father’s creation. Here’s the problem, the Baron Frankenstein didn’t create a monster, he created a naked slave woman, played here by the scream queen Michele Bauer. And, I’m not sure how you make this beautiful woman look this bad, but somehow, Franco managed it, because Bauer, who isn’t the young hot chick she once was, looks absolutely horrible here are the ‘monster’. And, to top that off, the monster is a hermaphrodite! And if you don’t know what that is, boys and girls, just look up “completely grossed Uncle Brian out” in your movie dictionary!

If you’re a hardcore Franco fan, or on a ton of mind altering drugs this movie is probably for you, and if that’s the case, head on over to Shock-O-Rama.com but for us normal (or, at least, semi-normal) movie watchers, this one is a exercise in tedium and weirdness. You’ve been warned! And until next time, please remember that the best movies are bad movies!