Two Front Teeth (2008) - By Josh Samford

Film Reviews: Two Front Teeth (2008) - By Josh Samford
Posted on Tuesday, December 02, 2008 @ 16:51:09 Mountain Standard Time by Duane

If there's one name I've grown to trust as far as horror cinema related releases, it's Unearthed Films. Regardless of whether I like a film or not that they go out and pick up, I know that coming from them I can at least be sure it's something worth my time. Two Front Teeth is a film that has alluded my knowledge until it showed up in my mailbox just this month for review. I was unaware of Unearthed picking up the distribution nor anything else about the film really. I was quick to make that change however as I popped it in the DVD player and set myself up for what can only be described as the strangest and downright most demented Christmas film the world has ever known. Which isn't to say it's the very best horror related Christmas time picture, but it's definitely up there as far as being one of the strangest - and that's never a bad thing is it?

Two Front Teeth is what you get when you mix a variety of grindhouse genres into a bag, along with the entire childrens mythos involving these wonderful characters that have been known to work simply for good such as the Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause and Frosty the Snowman. Then, on top of all that, a rabid wolverine is thrown into the bag just to make sure nothing comes back out while still being whole. This makes for a very innovative little picture for sure, with all kinds of new ideas about how one could twist these characters around into something horrible and perverse. This facet, along with some pretty nifty dialogue and decent scripting keep the film constantly moving and always engaging. Sometimes all a film needs are ideas, not neccesarily gimmicks, but something that seperates it from the crowd and ideas that are going to draw interest and entertainment. Two Front Teeth ultimately has those attributes in spaids, for sure.

The plot for the film focuses on Gabe, a reporter who works for a conspiracy based Christmas oriented magazine called The X-Mas Files. Gabe is a bit of a wimp in most ways, but is heartbroken after being told by his boss that his girlfriend is indeed having an affair with a local mall santa behind his back and on Christmas Eve no less! Gabe takes up a pistol and goes home to investigate, only to find an even more bizarre scene than simply some snuggling in bed. The mall santa has been decapitated, and his girlfriend is tied up in a chair. After freeing her, he finds out who the culprits are: Elves. Santa's elves at that. It seems Gabe has been on a case that has lead him to a certain red flashing nose that Santa's minions want, but will Gabe be able to put an end to the tyranny and evil that Santa Clause intends to reign down upon mankind? Let's just say, if there were betting odds, Gabe would definitely be the underdog.

So you get a vampiric Santa Clause, blood thirsty demonic elves, ninja-trained nuns straight from the vatican and even a few animated bits throughout the course of the film. You've got to give some respect, Two Front Teeth isn't just your average run of the mill no-budget horror. The creature FX in the film are all of superb quality and everything you could hope for in a latex inhabited monster fueled world of terrifying elves and a jack-rabbit looking horror-Santa. So yeah, there's a lot to love about Two Front Teeth. That doesn't mean it's going to be for all audiences of course, it does wear it's budget on its sleeve and if you're not open to that obviously low budget look - this one might turn you off. Even though the photography is by and large well done, it's still hard to make your film have the gloss of a bigger production when it is not. Especially with the neon lit Christmas time set-pieces that illuminate the majority of the film.

Two Front Teeth is a film you'll either love or hate. I personally had a great time with it and enjoyed the bloody fun of seeing a maniacal and supernatural Santa Clause go out on a rampage with his insane Elves. Maybe it's an aquired taste? I'm not sure but I think a lot of people are going to have fun with this one now that Unearthed has released it to the horror community. Dig in and if you're wanting to read more you can check out the official site over at Two Front Teeth Movie.com