I recently took a trip to my local multi-plex, heading to see whatever the weekly blockbuster was, and I noticed something very odd. A group of teenaged girls were gathered around a poster for a movie talking about how cute the star was...which, in and of itself, isn't all that odd, but the movie they were talking about was the latest in the 'Twilight' saga, Big Moon, or Full Moon, or whatever the hell it is. Well, this got me to thinking, I remember when vampires weren't the object of teen crushes, they were things to be feared and even inspire revulsion. Now, I know that there's always been a sexual component to any vampire tale, but, I always believed that these ‘vampire lovers’ were among the Goth scene or those kids who were, in some way, disturbed! After all, what kind of woman desires a man who can't go out in the daylight, drinks blood to live and transforms them into the living dead? None that I know of! But today, our good friend, the vampire, has been transformed from bloodsucking monster to teen heartthrob...and it's driving me crazy!

The first vampire I think we all remember is Bela Lugosi's Dracula, and, while, at the time, he was considered to be an attractive man, the character itself inspired both attraction and revulsion, here was a debonair Count who had class and charm, but, when you scratched the surface, he was a monster who wanted to kill you...or worse! And, while women of the day considered Lugosi’s characterization very sensual and alluring, no one actually considered dating him!

Now, while I'm pretty old, I'm not old enough to remember Dracula being in theaters, he was relegated to Saturday afternoon TV for me, and, because of that, he was mixed in with various other vampires including Christopher Lee's Hammer version of Dracula. And, while Lee’s interpretation of the good Count was still charming and sexy, when he turned on you, he was an even bigger monster than Lugosi…perhaps this was due to film standards in Lee’s day being much more liberal than those in Lugosi’s, but the Hammer version of Dracula was much more a monster than a heartthrob.

Then Hollywood jumped into the mix in 1979 and brought a bit more sex appeal to our old friend Dracula, by having handsome actor Frank Langella portray him. If you're not old enough to remember, there was a big push for this movie based on Langella's 'pure sex appeal'. Now, personally, I thought this was one of the worst vampire movies ever made, even with Sir Laurence Olivier as Van Helsing, this one was just a stinker, but with Langella as the fanged Count, this version of Dracula was a box office hit and furthered the idea of vampires as sex symbols.

In the 70s, it seemed that the only memorable and frightening vampire was Steven King’s Kurt Barlow from Salem’s Lot. Barlow was closer in appearance to Count Orlock from the famous silent, Nosferatu. But Barlow wasn’t any sort of ‘lure you into his web’ vampire and he didn’t have a lick of sex appeal! Barlow was a giant malevolent presence that would scare the crap out of you…literally, even for a TV movie, Salem’s Lot is still one of the best vampire movies ever made! It seemed as if the Langella ‘sexy Dracula’ was going to be forgotten and vampires were going to once again be terrifying creatures of the night!

The came the 80s, and vampires took a beating. First there was The Lost Boys, and, while it’s not a bad movie, let’s face it, this is really the brat pack with fangs. Keifer Sutherland is pretty ferocious and blood thirsty, but the teen girls were there for the ‘cute factor’ not to be scared. Then came Buffy The Vampire Slayer, a funny movie about a hot teen chick who hunts vampires! Even Rutger Hauer as the lead blood sucker couldn’t over come the light hearted theme of this movie, and add Pee Wee Herman as a vampire and I’m sure that Bela Lugosi was rolling over in his grave!

And, in recent years, things have gone from bad to worse, first, Francis Ford Coppola made Bram Stoker's Dracula. A movie that turned everyone's favorite member of the undead into some kind of 17th Century dandy, complete with large powdered wig! Hardly scary. I’m afraid that this movie began the long decline of the vampire, which, I’m sad to report seems to have put the vampire firmly into the hands of teen aged girls. From Twilight, to True Blood and including the new Vampire Diaries, vampires seem to have moved from terrible creatures of the night who feed on human blood to live, to misunderstood bad boys who only need the love of a good woman to turn them back to the right side of the sun. It’s enough to make you sick!

Here’s my idea, let’s resurrect Mr. King’s Barlow and turn him loose on those hair gelled, whining, wimpy vampires from the Twilight saga and see who’s left standing in the end. My guess is that whoever’s left standing won’t be wearing any hair products at all, and will be more interested in draining the hearts of teen aged girls, rather then breaking them.