Monster Survival Guide: The Monster of Piedras Blancas – By Timothy Martinez

Name: The Monster of Piedras Blancas

Monster Genus: Fishmanus Walkonlandus

Notable Appearances: The Monster of Piedras Blancas (1959)

Height: This critter is no shorty, by any means. At nearly seven feet tall, the Monster of Piedras Blancas could easily tryout for the NBA if it wished. Naturally, this measurement is just a guess, taken by those few people who got close to the monster and lived to tell the tale. Sadly, the creature’s speed is not up to par. Because of the monster’s height and lack of agility, you are in luck when trying to evade the beast by climbing atop something tall. Now, keep in mind that the monster is capable of climbing as well, so be sure to ascend something that is either defendable or too fragile for the semi-beefy beast to put his weight on…which may prove to be more difficult that one would think. The last thing you want is to get backed into a corner with nowhere to go.

Weight: Again, because nobody was foolhardy enough (nor did anyone really have the spare time to do it) to coax the monster onto a scale, we have to hazard a guess when it comes to the beast’s weight. Judging by it’s near-seven foot height and it’s somewhat lean frame, we can estimate a total body weight somewhere in the neighborhood of two hundred and fifty to three hundred pounds. Not anywhere near the Jabba the Hutt category, but not a lightweight, either. While this figure would seem to indicate a foe that you could successfully take on in hand-to-hand combat, you must remember that the monster is quite strong for it’s size and sports some claws that can inflict some horrific damage to your body. Indeed, a single blow from the creature is strong enough to break bones, so be careful! Allow those sharp claws to get too close and you may very well end up losing your head – literally. Your best bet is to avoid any face to face confrontations with the beast unless you have an army backing you up. Even then, you may want to have someone else go first.

Intelligence: 2/5 The Monster is not a big thinker by any means, but it does possess a level of intelligence that exceeds anything found in the animal kingdom. While it’s reasoning powers are not as developed as yours or mine, the monster does have the ability to size up a situation and plan it’s next moves accordingly. This increases the danger for you, as you are not dealing with an animal running on pure instinct. While the beast may be easy to fool or manipulate, don’t underestimate it. It is perfectly capable of opening doors, laying in wait for it’s victims and tracking down it’s prey.

Description: The Monster of Piedras Blancas is a distant relative of the Gillman from Creature from the Black Lagoon. Like his cousin he is covered in a thick scaly hide. The creature’s head is mostly smooth with only the face showing much detail…and what a face. A snarling expression seems to be permanently etched onto the beast’s visage, with large flaring nostrils and huge teeth. His hands are veritable weapons, with each digit sporting a wicked dagger-like nail.

Origin: At this time the origins of the Piedras Blancas Monster are unknown and are open to speculation. Some suggest that he is a mutation of some kind rather than a specimen from some unknown species.

Habitat: The Monster seems to divide his time between the sea and land. There is no denying that it is an amphibious creature, but it seems to spend more time on land than water, as evidenced by it’s body, which is geared more for ambulating than swimming. Still, the monster does live partially in the water and will seek out a home that puts it in close proximity to the sea such as a subterranean cave or grotto. It is widely accepted that preventing the monster from gaining passage to a source of water would prove to be detrimental and ultimately fatal. Thus, the beast can only live in locations where it has access to bodies of saltwater.

Behavior: The Monster of Piedras Blancas is a solitary beast, keeping to itself the vast majority of the time. What it does in it’s waking hours is a mystery at this point but it is certain that a Wild Kingdom film crew will be dispatched post haste in the event of another such creature emerging into the public eye. There is a generally accepted assumption that the monster spends a large portion of it’s time hunting for food. Since nearly every attack on a human by the monster has occurred after sundown, it is also accepted that the beast is nocturnal, sleeping the day away in a cave or grotto and then prowling the night in search of sustenance. The creature seems to feed on blood, given the nature of the human remains left behind – decapitated bodies, distended veins and arteries from the neck and a lack of blood in the body.

Special Abilities: The Piedras Blancas Monster really does not possess any remarkable abilities aside from it’s superior strength and it’s assumed ability to breathe underwater for long periods of time. The length of the latter is impossible to guess at this point, but we do know how strong the creature is. The beast has been known to kill or severely injure with a single blow. Additionally, the critter can use it’s sharp claws to rapidly slice a person’s head clean off. Keep such strength in mind when squaring off against the monster – in a wrestling match, you lose!

Weaknesses: Despite it’s scaly hide, the Piedras Blancas Monster is somewhat susceptible to the same things that will harm you or I. True, that thick skin will offer up more protection that our thin dermal layers, but given enough damage and even it will fail to keep the monster alive. Almost predictably, the monster has a soft spot in it’s heart for the ladies, especially any hot young specimens that it may come across (uh…that last part didn’t sound quite the way I meant it). So if you are a female, you had best be on guard and keep and eye out for horny fishmen in addition to horny human men. If you are a hot, sexy young woman…then I suggest hiding out at my place for a few days until all the commotion blows over.

Relatives: The Gillman from Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954), Revenge of the Creature (1955) and The Creature Walks Among Us (1956) the gang from Humanoids from the Deep (1980) and the fishman in The Monster Squad (1987).

What to do if you encounter: This monster represents the ideal circumstances when “running like hell” will actually work quite well. Since the monster is not very fast over large distances, you can easily out run this sucker. So when you see the monster, just turn tail and run! You ought to be safe. When running isn’t an option, you had better hope that weapons are nearby, cuz you are going to need them! Trying to wrestle the monster into submission on your own is a sure-fire way to get bitch slapped like there is no tomorrow. Once the slapfest is over, the beast will quickly divest you of your head (you obviously weren’t using it if you tried fighting the monster) and suck out your blood through your exposed veins and arteries as if they were the newest editions to the Crazy Straw line of products. Because of the rugged nature of the beast’s scaly hide, you are going to need more than blunt weapons. In close quarters, knives and other sharp or pointy objects will help in fending off the monster. Guns will work just as well, but keep in mind that it will take a lot more than a couple of hits from a firearm or bladed weapon to get the monster to sod off back to the sea. When working with a blade, go samurai on it’s ass and keep that knife moving and cutting as much as possible. When using a firearm, then you need to unload as many rounds as possible and as quickly as you can. If circumstances put you in the position where you must hide, then do not forget the monster’s ability to open some doors and pound down others. Be safe and just avoid coastal towns after sunset.