Movie Crossovers II – By Danny Runion

After the numerous accolades and awards that my first deranged Movie Crossover article received, ok, it was actually no one of them. Still, I haven’t received any threats because that article which is a reward in of itself… Ask yourself one question when reading my ideas for movie crossovers. Does this sound any worse than Boa Vs Python? As usual, I’ve come back with another few more extremely twisted movie crossover ideas with more sugar and sleep deprivation.

1. Breakfast Club Dread

What better way to milk money out of filmgoers than by giving them another slasher rehash like Scream with plenty of 1980s referential in-jokes? A motley group of high school students are sent to an exclusive detention resort. The teens are being chased by a truly insane retired teacher (played Anthony Michael Hall). As they are slowly eliminated to a lousy rap-metal soundtrack, their only hope resides in the tough as nails police detective (played by Molly Ringwald). Can the teens manage to survive the movie and into hopefully the sequel which will feature Judd Nelson?

2. Natural Born Killers from Space

Editing the insane movie of Oliver Stone’s with a 1950s sci-fi movie somehow makes more sense. To be honest editing Stone’s movie with 2 hours of a blank screen would make more sense. A group of aliens kidnap and brainwash Peter Graves into a raving psychopath, he travels around with Juliette Lewis having sociopathic adventures that look like they were written for a 1960s art film. Peter Graves who will insure you don’t remember him from Mission: Impossible when he discusses Kant’s theories on philosophy as he drowns a sack of kittens.

3. Omega Doom Generation

Somehow, a freak accident left Rutger Hauer with delusions he actually was an android called Omega Doom and wandered off the movie set about a low budget sci-fi version rip-off of Sergio Leone’s A Fistful Of Dollars, which was itself derived from Akira Kurosawa’s Yojimbo. He stumbled onto a movie with Rose McGowan, and Omega Doom Generation was born. To be fair, Omega Doom Generation wasn’t really born as much as it was afterbirthed. Omega Doom meets a 20-something couple. Through their travels, the boundaries of relationships are tested and redefined to the point that college film students will be the only ones who have the sheer audacity to claim that the movie is profound and compelling.

4. My Fair Lady Terminator

Rex Harrison takes a young confused woman who possesses a Bobbitting man-removing internal organ and trains her to be an unstoppable killing machine. My Fair Lady Terminator will also spontaneously break into songs like "doe is a deer, a female deer…" as she starts to gun down people in a homage to James Cameron movies.

5. RoboCop and a Half

After Alex Murphy (played by Burt Reynolds) was gunned down protecting a child witness, he was rebuilt into a cyborg law enforcement officer. Criminals are in sheer terror of RoboCop with a truly magnificent mustache. The child witness requests that RoboCop Burt to protect him again. Hilarity ensues as RoboBurt must contend with the precocious child. As he tries to also catch the men that murdered him, RoboBurt slowly learns to regain his human emotions and defeat the master criminal only known as Sheriff Pusser (a computer generated Jackie Gleason.) Audiences will be rolling in the floor with the crossing sword scene.