The summer movie schedule has been full of sequels and rehashes of super hero pirates battling computer-generated monsters has filled the cineplexes. Rather than covering my expanded "GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE: SUPER EXPANDED VERSION" the movie where Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel learn the poignancy and beauty of life by competing in a bikini beach volleyball tournament when not taking long hot showers. Once again, I’ve got to show the world of movies that someone can create something.
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Children of the Corn III: Urban Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors: Isaac and the other kids have a bigger problem than He Who Walks Behind the Rows. Freddy Krueger has decided to expand out from just the one Elm Street. It’s the battle of the century after Isaac must learn how to channel the power of the Dream Warriors from Nancy (Heather Langenkamp). Freddy is hunting the kids in their dreams and must face the psychokinetic Isaac. By the way this has absolutely no connection to the Friday the 13thB movie where Jason fought the telekinetic pseudo-Carrie.
Class of Nuke ‘Em High Plains Drifter: A mysterious cowboy wanders in Tromaville with his own score to settle. The radioactive waste has mutated the entire city of Tromaville is a challenge. As he takes care of the toughest of the tough, mutated honor roll, the Man with No Name sets his sights on the Tromavilla High Principal, Lloyd Kaufmann. With revenge being the prize that only a high enough body count can win, he cuts through each of the opponents by playing them against each other as he gets closer to the last target.
Hellraiser 3: Hell on Earth Versus the Flying Saucers: The flying saucers hovered silently over various cities of the planet before unleashing their arsenals. The world needed Clive Barker’s charming uber-metal endowed Cenobite, Pinhead, back for his greatest challenge. He leads a group of scientists into developing a weapon to counter attack the flying saucers that have already leveled numerous monuments around the world. The low budget feel will be kept with this movie being shot in black and white and with Ray Harryhausen’s special effects from Earth Versus Flying Saucers.
Leprechaun 4: In Space Mutiny: For a change, the Leprechaun has more than just gold or mood altering chemicals on his mind. He plans on eliminating Santa Claus the captain of the starship, Southern Star, and taking over as ship’s captain. Though the idea of Leprechaun having wacky hi-jinks like Captain Stubbing on Love Boat sounds good, this Leprechaun plans on being a bit more like Darth Vader. However, he has one man against him. One man can’t be stopped by a deranged Warwick Davis in ghoul makeup. One man that is proud enough to call himself Reb. Yes, Reb Brown, Biff McLargeHuge himself will battle the tyranny of the Leprechaun
The 6th Day After Tomorrow: A massive climate change will hit the Earth in less than 24 hours. The polar ice caps will melt and water levels will rise. Mach 2 tornados will ravenge the countrysides of the world. However, Mother Nature has not counted on the one force that can challenge her. The Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, will handle the climate change with the only possible solution: massive use of firepower. If some crazed environmentalists wound up eating the non-vegan diet of flying lead, so much the better.