Movie Mashups 15 – By Danny Runion

Who needs good ideas to make movies? It’s time to leave sanity, logic, and coherency behind. Once again, I’m still twitching with some more demented ideas because my actual good ideas still aren’t considered for true greatness. Bad and cheezy ideas are mostly not known until they’re developed. After a few months, it is time to take some movie ideas and juice them together. Even with these horrible notions, nothing is still Razzy-award-winning.

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Die Hard-bodies

Bruce Willis is John McClane in his biggest challenge ever. While going to renew his driver’s license, he realizes that terrorists led by Han Bruber’s second cousin’s nephew’s half-brother are in the next line over. Unfortunately, he’s not carrying his gun. The security guard won’t listen. McClane does have one advantage a group of older guys who think battling terrorists will improve their reputations enough to impress the younger ladies. Can McClane teach them to be butt-kicking wise-cracking heroes in time to still get his license before the DMV closes? Can the terrorists be stopped before completing their nefarious scheme after they can drive to where their nefarious scheme will be implemented. Can John’s apprentices learn that going to bars and using "I really did stop a group of terrorists from attacking the DMV" as a pickupup line is completely ridiculous?


RoboCop and a Half

After Alex Murphy (played by Burt Reynolds) was gunned down protecting a child witness, he was rebuilt into a cyborg law enforcement officer. Criminals are in sheer terror of RoboCop with a truly magnificent mustache. The child witness requests that RoboCop Burt to protect him again. Hilarity ensues as RoboBurt must contend with the precocious child. As he tries to also catch the men that murdered him, RoboBurt slowly learns to regain his human emotions and defeat the master criminal only known as Sheriff Pusser (a computer generated Jackie Gleason.) Audiences will be rolling in the floor with the crossing sword scene.


Se7en Brides for Se7en Brothers

The world loves thrillers. The time has come to fuse a thriller with a musical. Yes, seven psychopathic brothers decide it is time for them to settle down. However, the brides-to-be decide about their dowries. The brothers from the woods have to now show their potential brides their determination by each eliminating 7 former boyfriends of each bride. The new local police officer is being trained by the retiring one as they discover their biggest case will involve plenty of logger mountain men and spontaneous dancing to unheard music.


Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow Never Dies

Sky Captain has more than an army of robots and dinosaurs to battle as he teams up with James Bond who seems more to romancing the eye-patched Angelina Jolie who is more concerned with adopting children than trying to save the world. As hundreds of robots attack cities all over the world, Sky Captain has to contend with James Bond who insists this never happened to the other guy. The mystery of why Q has been kidnapped by a mysterious villain is only the tip of the iceberg which will plunge these 2 heroes beyond the realm of surreality into the realm of buddy adventure movies.