Well, I still haven’t learned my lesson so back to another attempt at cinematic fusion into insanity and illogicality. We’ve seen what happened when Hollywood threatens moviegoers with terrible ideas. Do we need anymore 1980s remake movies? So, it is time to turn the tables and show that screenwriters may make ridiculous amounts of money compared to the the most people aren’t the only ones with terrible ideas. The question
remains are my ideas worse from operating on a nonexistent budget to anyone who was paid. At least, I recognize these ideas are complete and utterly worthless and should not be subjected to people. However, if "Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach Blanket Bingo" sounds good enough to a producer wants to license it…
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Apple Dumpling Gangs of New York
Martin Scorsese is back for his epic sequel to "Gangs of New York". However, this time, a couple of orphans have to be brought into the city by the nefarious villains Tim Conway and a computer generated Don Knotts. Even worse, they have to contend with a large number of gang members for the recently reestablished Dead Rabbit Gang. Yes, the world has been waiting with bated breath for the knife fight between Barney Fife and that guy from "My Left Foot". All the time, Leonardo DeCaprio keeps asking some woman "Are you really Cameron Diaz?" and "Why are you in this movie that’s not soem romantic comedy?"
Clear and Present Dangerous Minds
Tom Clancy’s most famous hero, Jack Ryan, is back for his most dangerous mission. The CIA has Jack infiltrate what is considered the worst high school in America. He is there to break the drug ring open and motivate as many students into trying to see life more than just existing. While former Navy SEAL, John Clark, is teaching physical education and watching Jack’s back. The theme song will be "Gansta’s Paradise" by Coolio and Michelle Pfeiffer in her torch song phase from the "Fabulous Baker Boys".
The idea of having Michael Bay and the Zucker brothers team up to fuse their movies together is almost Lovecraftian in its true brilliant concept. After some food poisoning takes down the pilots, Nicolas Cage has to fly a prison plane. His only hope for anything to work for him is for Leslie Nielsen talking him down. Danny Trejo just hangs around waiting to hear if a "Machete" sequel will be made…
Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach Blanket Bingo
Let sun, surf, and suntan lotion assault south Florida. The police department has Tackleberry, Jonesy, Captain Lassard, and all the others to a police convention. In Miami, a riot breaks out among the college kids on a spring break concerning the girls’ gone wild videos. The Miami police resort to having the Police Academy officers regain tranquility and discover whatever happened to Steve Guttenberg’s career to the point that would keep him from thinking he was too good for the Police Academy franchise.