No Heart Feelings (2013) – By Brian Morton

Speaking as someone from a somewhat older generation, it seems to me that sometimes you younger people can be a bit self-absorbed. And, while that’s not always a terribly bad thing, it can color your perspective. It seems that parents for the last 20 some years, have spent more time telling their kids that they ‘can do anything’ and not enough time telling them the truth. Well, that might not seem to have anything to do with a movie about love, I think it has more than you might think.

No Heart Feelings is the story of a group of people who are all in various stages of relationships, some are just out, some are trying to get in and some are in the midst of one. Our story revolves around Melanie, who’s just broken up with her long-distance boyfriend, and isn’t sure how she feels about a new relationship. Enter Lewis, a new guy who finds her attractive, and the ‘dance’ begins. The two clearly like each other and get along, but Melanie isn’t sure how she feels and doesn’t want to rush in to anything.

The problem I had with No Heart Feelings is that it feels a lot like the work of a community of people, all of whom got their way, so the movie has no one clear vision. This is a ‘slice of life’ movie, but what the filmmakers seem to have forgotten is that life is largely boring. People sitting and talking isn’t nearly as exciting to an outsider as it is to someone in the midst of that conversation, and that’s what I felt like, like something of a voyeur, who was watching something that wasn’t all that interesting.

No Heart Feelings does feel like a bit of real life, but it also feels like someone filmed real life, but forgot to edit it to include only the parts of the movie that were interesting. I found myself mentally wandering and wondering how long this movie would last. At one point, I even spoke to the screen, telling Melanie just to get on with it! It’s clearly a movie made by people who think that their every thought is interesting and that everyone is interested in them…well, speaking as someone who really wanted to like this movie, I wasn’t.

I’m giving No Heart Feelings 1 out of 4 cigars, it’s just over an hour long and it felt like twice that long, and when it was over, the relief I felt was palpable! You can find out more for yourself over at