Old 37 (2015) – By Baron Craze

 

Screenwriter Paul Travers (his only film as the writing of this article), who also served as second unit director, created the script from a nightmare, which is the common method for these horror flicks, nothing better than devilish, sick and twisted tales to scare the viewers. However, Old 37 has all the elements that the fans desire to find in low budget horror films contain, and borderlines the plot on the slasher market. Once though must note, director Christian Winters removed his name from the project and replaced it with the frequently used pseudonym Alan Smithee, generally used by directors that felt they totally lost creative control of their own film, a common maneuver and not limited to the horror genre.

The plot concept original in the planning, when one has had the dreadful mishap in life, especially a car accident you feel awful, the pain, the achiness, the mixture of anger and shock, a flood of emotions, and then the siren of help or at least you hope so. Alas in this story the helpful paramedics actually brothers with psychotic ways to hurt, no help the injured. The dynamic duo, and likely most popular tag-team in horror of recent, disguised as paramedics, two psychopaths Jon Roy (Kane Hodder) and Darryl (Bill Moseley) who starred and worked on at least 200 horror films combined, used an old but still serviceable ambulance Old 37. A storyline with potential for creepy and scary imaginary, the tortures to occur in the back of protected ambulance and then more intense therapy and home remedies at their junkyard. It is there they past their peaceful days listening to the chatter of 911 calls, and intercepts only traffic accidents, which occur nearby where only one other ambulance covers 300 square miles in the quasi-remote area. The first 15-minutes of the film, really set a darken tone for the flick and give the advance notice to all horror fans the blood patrol definitely on the scene. Aside from the killers and their torturous upbringing, from their sadistic father Jimmy (Kenneth Simmons, who coincidentally starred in a 1990 horror film The Ambulance), and likely to create a weird sympathy for Jon Roy, the other characters are supposedly teens, although they don’t act or speak like the typical teenager, and have a perceived notion of entitlements.  The group of teenagers led by a ruthless snob named Brooke (Olivia Alexander, and she really does her best to sell the stereotypical character she portrays) who are pack of rich kids, with the expensive sporty cars race their cars down lonely stretches of back roads for entertainment purposes. A favorite game of reckless behavior of theirs “ride the space” the exact same car stunt in Footloose (1984) where one places a foot on each of the open windows and stands as the air rushes under them. Angel (Brandi Cyrus), newbie to the group, wanting to impress, Brooke takes it as offensive and flirts with her boyfriend, Jason (Maxwell Zagorski) lose control of his car Angel falls to a horrendous death, though bloodied graphics not clearly enough. Now the sub-plot eventually leads to carnage loving brothers, but after the teens cover up the accident (crime). The inclusion of the character Amy (Caitlin Harris), in the plot comes a bit off, a slow-burn, she quiet and meekish, suffering dual loss of both her father and then best friend (guess who).  Meanwhile her mom (Sascha Knopf) has an active dating cycle, only after eight months from her husband dying. Apparently Amy’s suffering from self-esteem issues of ‘flapjacks’ in other words small breasts and this all leads to a stranger place further away from the maniac killers. Therefore, what does mother do, simply get her daughter boob job, why not, common response, and then a full-on makeover, and skimpy dress in what appears as the fastest medical recovery in life. Fret not the teens, including the new and improved Amy takes on the blood brothers in a brutal battle of survival in blood soaking lust fest of wondrous enjoyment.

If the director of a movie chooses to credit himself as Alan Smithee, that’s never a good thing, stripping himself of credit, never to appear next the title. The reasoning for making this lasting and impressionable choice could be a variety of things it boils down to the director not being too fond of the final product. This also brings a negative stink to the project, regardless of the horror stars contributions, the fans of cinema, learning the about the name Smithee has many alerted quickly, however herein the horror fans and gore-hounds do get a fair amount of bloodshed. The story keeps a quicken pace, and solid tight filming, providing an entertaining slaughter fest with very strange sub-plot points.

Old 37 distributed from both Epic Pictures and Anchor Bay provided a seen it a hundred times over, and yet horror fans keep coming back for more savagery butchery of pair disturb serial killers, on a bender to enhance the trauma of countless victims it the loving care of brutality. Worth a view one time, not necessary worth keeping on a DVR, or a required purchase of DVD, basically, a one and done. One may never really feel comfortable again, when on that lonely stretch of road an ambulance rolls up, and a paramedic calls out, “We’re here to help you.”

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