Real Heroes (2014) – By Misty Layne

Presented by Waltzing Penguins, Real Heroes is a love letter to masked crusaders. A desperate reality show producer hits on the idea of doing “The Real World”, but with superheroes. (On a side note, I SWEAR my friends and I came up with an almost identical idea to this back in the early aughties – it featured a Teletubby and Simon Cowell…). Anyway, Spiderman, Supergirl and Iron Man all have better things to do so our producer takes what he can get. And what he gets is Sable – a single mom juggling crime fighting, a moody teenage daughter (who was her former sidekick) and a waitressing job. Then there’s Big Shot, a moody macho marksman with a severe case of paranoia. Malibu Action Girl, which is essentially a real life Barbie but with, ya know, superhero toys. Water Warrior, a dead sexy fella who can talk to fish. Oh and let’s not forget the psychic superhero because he’s the BEST.

This movie is hilarity from start to finish. The whole premise is so ridiculous and yet so metaphorical that it amazes. Each superhero has their own set of personal issues to deal with and frankly for the first half of the movie or so, Sable is the only one doing any crime fighting. The rest of the team is back at the house playing beer pong as a team building exercise. No, seriously. But when a team of baddies suddenly shows up and kidnaps Sable’s daughter, the team finds it within themselves to band together and fight for the greater good.

Can the gang save Vixen, Sable’s daughter? Can you really defeat a zombie who holds Hitler’s brain? And can you actually follow the bad guys’ plan involving voodoo priestesses, cold fusion and nanobots? (Cause I sure as hell couldn’t). Oh, and will Malibu Action Girl’s new sidekicks Rick & Josh be able to design her new dollhouse to go with her action figure line??? So many questions!! And the only way to find out is to watch.

Like, 5 thumbs up for this film. I’ve seen the “lesser masked crusader” flicks before and while it may not be a “Kick Ass”, this movie totally rocks socks. So go watch it – you won’t be sorry. And be sure to check out all the special features – Water Warrior’s workouts, The Sidekicks Mystique and so much more!

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