Schoolgirl Report Volume #12 (1978) – By Duane L. Martin

Often times sex films can be boring, especially ones from the 70s and early 80s. I have to say though that I’ve generally enjoyed these Schoolgirl report films quite a bit, and here’s why. To put it in a nutshell, they’re for the most part lighthearted and fun. Sure they have their serious moments as well, but in general they’re just light entertainment that’s enjoyable to watch, and this one is no exception.

The Schoolgirl Report films are from Germany, and as such they come with English subtitles. Each one has a main theme and then typically has five stories that are somehow related to that theme. In this case, there’s a staff at a college newspaper reading letters to the editor that people sent in about sexual things that have happened to them. There are five branch stories in this one that are as follows:

Story 1: Helmut and Anne are brother and sister. He’s fifteen years older than her and he’s an airline pilot who was married for a short time but then got divorced. When Anne was born, their mother died during childbirth and her father hated her ever since, so she grew up with her brother as her best friend, but now that they’re adults, there’s something more going on between them.

This one was pretty interesting. You don’t often see incest in films, and they actually did a pretty good job with Helmut playing up the whole moral dilemma angle and trying to fight his urges. There was something really hot about the chemistry going on in this one and the way she was coming on to him. It has a nice little mystery twist at the end as well that’ll leave you wondering.

Story 2: A girl named Barbara writes in about a really awesome school trip she went on to a farm in the country. Her and some of her friends discover a couple having sex in the woods, and it turns them on so bad that they go and grab the guys during their lunch break and everyone ends up having sex. There’s a nice little twist at the end of this one as well that I won’t spoil here.

This one was just light and fun all the way through. The funniest part was probably when a couple fell over in the hay loft and were buried head first upside down to their waists in hay with their legs kicking around in the air. Yeah, this one was pretty ridiculous at times, but just the faces Barbara was making while she was watching the couple having sex in the woods was worth the price of admission.

Story 3: Gaby’s been getting migraines before her tests at school because of the stress, so her mom makes her an appointment with the doctor to get examined, only she’s not so good with dates, so she ends up taking her to her Thursday appointment on Wednesday, and the only person in there is a plumber who always wanted to be a doctor. After he fixes the sink, he puts on the doctor’s getup and is looking at himself in the mirror when they come in. He tried to tell them he wasn’t a doctor, but the mother just wouldn’t listen, and at her insistence, he gives the daughter a thorough examination…inside and out.

This one was pretty funny. Watching this guy giving the daughter the once over in the fake examination was entirely amusing to watch, and what he did with the thermometer was just absolutely hilarious.

Story 4: This one was the one serious story of the bunch. Etta is good in school, but she’s a nymphomaniac because of the way she grew up. Her father cheater on her mother, and every day when she’d come home she walk in on her mom having sex with a different guy. Her brother, who was gifted musically, had committed suicide when he was a teenager and she’d generally just had a lot to deal with in her life. Unfortunately, that led to her having frequent sex with different men, a heroin addiction and a life of prostitution to pay for that addiction.

This one was pretty depressing. It’s kind of a bummer that they mix a serious story like this when all of the others are so light and fun. It’s sort of like the turd in the punchbowl. That’s not to say that it was bad though. In fact, it was actually quite good, but it just simply felt out of place amongst the rest of the stories.

Story 5: A family takes in a French foreign exchange student named Niki, and their daughter Dina (who is just crazy damn hot) is instantly smitten with him. Unfortunately for her, he’s in training for some tournament, so all he ever does is train, and when he’s not training, he’s thinking about training, which means he’s forcing himself to stay abstinent so it doesn’t interfere with that. Dina spends the whole movie either after him or fantasizing about him, and even her friends are after him, but will she get him in the end, or will she be left frustrated?

This one was not only the most fun, but damn…Dina is just yummy. How anyone could stay abstinent around her is beyond me. Part of the fun in this one comes from Dina’s parents. Her father thinks that all Frenchmen are letches and is totally against him even being there at first. Later he figures out that Niki is all about the training and has no interest in girls, so he lets his guard down, and that’s when Dina makes her move. There’s a lot of sexual frustration between Dina’s parents as well. Apparently her father ain’t givin’ it to her mom the way he used to, which is another amusing aspect of the story.

All in all, this is another great entry in the Schoolgirl Report series and definitely one you’ll want to add to your collection.

If you’d like to find out more about this film, you can check out it’s page on the Synapse Films website here, and if you’d like to pick up a copy for yourself, you can get the DVD from Amazon, or from any of the other usual outlets.