Sexcula (1974) – By Duane L. Martin

A girl inherits an old, abandoned house from her grandmother and manages to find the diary she had hidden there. She and her boyfriend then go on a picnic and he starts reading the diary out loud.

The story goes thusly…

In 1869, Countess Sexcula (Debbie Collins) went on a trip at the request of her aunt, Dr. Fellatingstein, to help with her experiment. She had created a man named Frank (John Alexander) to use for her own sexual needs, and he was perfect in every way, except that he had no sex drive and couldn’t get it up. Countess Sexcula, who was little more than a prostitute, was called in to consult and see if she could figure out what was wrong. Basically, it was her job to fix his sex drive.

What followed was a mid-70’s porn film…the kind with a story, so to speak. This film, while it does have plenty of full on pornographic sex, is not just a porn film. For me it has the feel of those early 70s, goofball sexploitation films. You know the sort of thing, only those types of films never really get into full on pornography. This film is a sort of a blend of the two genres.

While the sex is quite boring by today’s standards, the story is silly and kind of fun. I know this is going to sound funny, but every time Countess Sexcula would talk, all I could think of was Deborah Loomis from Hercules in New York. They are totally similar in the way they talk, so it was kind of a fun little aside for me as I was watching the film. People who are fans of Hercules in New York shouldn’t have any trouble picking up on the similarity between the two.

The film is filled with other goofy characters as well, including a female sex bot, a gorilla, and a seemingly retarded hunchback named Orgie. (Who named that character? Grady from Sanford and Son?)

This film was screened once after it was made, and then it was seemingly lost. Fast forward to 2011, when references, and then film reels were ultimately discovered, and which have now at last been made available to the public. The complete story of the film, it’s creation and re-discovery are included in the liner notes, which were written by porn archaeologist, Dimitrios Otis. It’s an interesting read, and truly amazing that this film ever managed to see the light of day after that initial screening.

Is there anything serious about this film? No, absolutely not. Is the sex any good? No, not really. This film has a cheesy charm to it though that makes it kinda fun to watch. It’s not a masterpiece by any means, but if you’re looking for some light entertainment with a little porn on the side, this is your film.

If you’d like to find out more about this film, you can check out its page on the Synapse Films website here, and if you’d like to get a copy for yourself, you can get the DVD from Amazon, or from any of the other usual outlets.