Shadow’s Monster Survival Guide: The Blood Beast – By Timothy Martinez

Name: The Blood Beast

Monster Genus: Unknown

Notable Appearances: Night of the Blood Beast (1958)

Height: Due to the nature of the Blood Beast’s composition – made up of a combination of mud, sticks, loose shrubbery as well as alien tissues, the height can no doubt vary between specimens. The single Blood Beast encountered to date stood approximately six to seven feet in height. This is another case of having to make an educated guess, as no one really thought about running up to the monster with a tape measure when it came bursting onto the scene. As the creature never utilized it’s height in any way to it’s advantage, more than likely climbing a tree, a ladder or a big stack of crates will at least grant you a temporary reprieve from the beast. Just do not rely on this method to make your escape permanent.

Weight: Again, because the nature of Blood Beasts means their dimensions can vary, there is no predetermined range of weight within to classify the species. It is entirely possible that one specimen could weight as little as one hundred and fifty pounds while others could pork out at five hundred plus. The specimen encountered to date appeared to weigh somewhere in the neighborhood of three hundred pounds. Ironically, a large part of that seemed to be represented by the creature’s huge, bulbous head. With something of a slender build for a critter that tall, it is entirely possible that if encountered, you actually have a very good chance of outmassing it. This in turn means that you have a good chance of beating the crap out of the critter, rather than vice versa.

Intelligence: 4/5 While Blood Beasts are sentient, they do not possess a level of intelligence that far beyond that of Humanity. Their civilization was destroyed in a nuclear holocaust, so their level of technology could not have been too far ahead of our own. They did manage to find a way to transport themselves to Earth orbit, but maybe they got lucky.

Description: Your basic Blood Beast looks like a cross between a plucked mutant chicken and a giant compost heap. At least that is how they look on Earth. In orbit they appear as nothing more than a cloud of charged particles. Once they have infiltrated a spacecraft and returned to earth, they then animate a heap of mud and sticks in order to move about. Eventually, through a process completely unknown to us, their new bodies also begin to manifest alien tissue, which they then use to implant embryos in anyone unlucky enough to get their attention. Among other things this new alien tissue takes the form of giant bulbous black eyes and a misshapen beak-like growth in the middle of their face. They sport some pretty sharp looking claws on their hands, so prolonged wrestling with one may earn you something more than a few chicken scratches- you may get sliced to ribbons.

Origin: The species we have come to know as Blood Beasts actually evolved on another planet, where they created their own technological society. For whatever reasons, that civilization was destroyed in a nuclear holocaust. Afterwards, the survivors came to Earth in their quest to find some place new to live. They exist in pure energy form in Earth’s orbit, unable to penetrate the atmosphere. There they attach themselves to any spacecraft that strays near them and then return to Earth along with it.

Habitat: Completely unknown.

Behavior: They infiltrate manned spacecraft and ride them back down to Earth. Once down, their pure energy form animates a good size chuck of earth or mud, with a few sticks and shrubs thrown in as accessories. Then they go into hiding, where their alien tissues can slowly begin to evolve, before they emerge and look for someone to use as an incubator. They lay their eggs in people and this process means death for the host, but oddly enough that condition does not seem permanent as rigor mortis, or any other condition associated with decaying corpses, never sets in and the person is up and about within a day or so. At some point Blood Beasts will begin eating people’s brains. More on that later.

Special Abilities: Blood Beasts are completely impervious to gunfire and blade weapons. Firing round after round will do you no good, as all you are doing is shooting a big walking pile of mud and shrubs…and since when did gardeners use assault rifles to do their work? Likewise, since most of a Blood Beast is comprised of mud and/or dirt, going ninja on one with a sword is about as helpful as an one-legged man at an ass kicking contest. You’re just gonna wear yourself out and make it easier for the beast to go Freddy Krueger on your ass with it’s claws. Blood Beasts also produce a magnetic field that plays havoc with any technology within a certain radius. If your cars suddenly dies and your watch stops, beware! It may be a Blood Beast sneaking up on you. Another special ability is assimilating the knowledge of people by ingesting their brains! This will not only allow them to know everything that person knew or felt, but the Blood Beast will now speak in that person’s voice. Now there is a party trick you do not want to volunteer to take part in. This new found ability to talk also leads Blood Beasts to yak incessantly, and given time, they will talk you to death with all their speeches about how they’ve come to enlighten us all and save us from themselves. Shut up! I didn’t buy it when the Democrats said it, I ain’t buyin’ it now!

Weaknesses: Taking into consideration the nature of a Blood Beast and one can surmise an effective way to kill it. While bullets and knives are useless, there is one thing that will send a Blood Beast shrieking like a school girl: fire. Yes, the mere sight of flames is enough to send a blood Beast into a panic-induced fit of spasms. The slightest contact with fire will send them up in flames faster than the human torch. Their predilection for endless equivocation is also a weakness that can be exploited, plus their physical stature and strength makes it possible for them to be overcome in a fight if facing enough opponents.

Relatives: Swamp Thing

What to do if you encounter: First off, plug your ears, as the Blood Beast will immediately launch into a rather lengthy and boring speech on how it has come here to save you from yourself. This in itself may induce permeate brain damage so be quick or risk losing some gray matter – first from it droning on and on and then from it popping your skull like a soda can and consuming your brain. While it is engaged it it’s Doctor Phil impersonation, quickly run and find the nearest source of fire. Use this to set the Blood beast on fire like a 4th of July BBQ. On the off chance that no sources of flame are close at hand, then just run like hell. Blood Beasts are not all that fast nor agile despite the habit they have of jumping around like a circus performer, and it will never be able to catch you – especially once it gets winded from all the bloody talking it’s doing.