Splatter Farm – By Brian Morton

When the Regal Studios film company first approached me to watch independent movies, I have to admit I was pretty excited! Small, self-financed and independent films are some of my favorites, and, sadly, sometimes, some of the least watched. The first movie I’ve seen by Regal is Splatter Farm. Now, I’m not exactly a clean slate when it comes to this film, so before I start, I feel like I need to make a bit of a confession. Back in the early 90’s, some of you, along with me, probably watched The Movie Channel’s Saturday Night movie fest called Drive-In Theatre, hosted by the inimitable Joe Bob Briggs. Now, Joe Bob had a group of us who watched movies that were sent in and his local team didn’t have time to watch, he called these people the Board Of Drive-In Experts. I was one of these experts. Now, as I watched Splatter Farm, I kept thinking that it seemed familiar. So, when the movie ended, I went back through my notes from years ago and, sure enough, I had watched Splatter Farm in 1992 for Joe Bob’s Board. So, when I talk about his movie, keep in mind that, even though it’s been a number of years, I remembered it.

Splatter Farm is your typical ‘out in the middle of nowhere’ horror movie. Two brothers travel for a vacation on the farm to visit their Aunt Lacy. Now, one brother is not fond of Aunt Lacy and the other brother is afraid of Aunt Lacy because she’s a little too fond of him… if you know what I mean. When they get to the farm, they meet Aunt Lacy’s ‘helper’ Jeremy, and, as you might expect, Jeremy is a little unbalanced.

You can probably see where this is going. Now, this isn’t as bad a movie as you might imagine. The acting is a little stiff, although the actor who plays Jeremy seems to relish the role with great glee! Or else, he’s really disturbed, you can’t really be sure just by watching a movie, can you? Now, this movie suffers from a loose and, at times, poorly written script, and the acting is a bit uneven, even with the stand out performance of the ‘Jeremy’ actor, who, by the way, is uncredited as are all the actors in the movie. But there are moments here when the story outshines the stiff performances. When Aunt Lacy drugs and molests her nephew, you’ll thank God that there are no female nude scenes here!

The special effects are a bit amateurish but passable when you consider the low budget, and there are moments of genuine thought put behind the horror, like the scene that has Jeremy putting his fist in, shall we say, the ‘exit only hole’ of one of the brothers. The thought of this and watching it are pretty bad but the shock is lessened to a great degree by not hearing any sound effects or even any audio from the actors. What we hear while watching most of the gore and horror scenes is music that’s pretty generic. And the final demise of Aunt Lacy seems to be from someone’s misplaced parental anger, which makes it a little hard to watch, but that’s what I enjoyed about this movie. Just when you think it’s fallen into a rut, it does something to shock you and shock is something I like in a horror movie.

While, overall, Splatter Farm is one of the lowest budget movies I’ve seen in years, it does have it’s moments and, after all, if I can get a couple of memorable moments from any movie, I’m happy, and Splatter Farm provides those moments. It could use a bit more polish, the editing isn’t the best (you can hear audio dropout every time the scene changes), but overall, as a stand-alone movie, Splatter Farm isn’t too bad. But, if you look at it as a first effort of up and coming filmmakers, then it shows a lot of promise and I look forward to the next movie from this studio, which I happen to have in my hot little hand right now, Evil. For more information on this or any other Regal Studios movie, please take the time to visit them at http://www.regalstudios.com