Suburban Sasquatch (2004) – By Duane L. Martin

Dave Wascavage has outdone himself this time. I mean, sure there’s been bigfoot monsters in more movies than you can shake a stick at, and there’s even been one in the old television show The Six Million Dollar Man, but Dave has taken bigfoot to a whole other level.

Basically what Mr. Wascavage has done with his bigfoot in this film is he made him big and vicious and well endowed. Dave’s version of bigfoot also has the biggest set of titties I’ve ever seen on a monster. I mean hell, if you shaved this thing down and taught it to speak, it could either dance with the Chippendales or wait tables at Hooters. I swear that while I was watching this thing, every time it appeared on screen, all I could do was look at its breasts. That alone was probably one of the most hilarious things about Suburban Sasquatch, but there’s more…a lot more. He also made the sasquatch a supernatural / spiritual beast that can appear and disappear at will. He’s traveling around a new housing development in the hills that has apparently encroached into his domain and now he’s killing pretty much everyone he comes across. The only ones he doesn’t kill are the two women that he takes back to his cave for a little hairy nookie. It never shows any of that, but it’s implied.

Dave said himself that he has a lot of crazy stuff running around in his head, and he writes a lot of it down and turns it into movies. He hasn’t made a lot of movies, but so far, each one has been better than the last. His movies aren’t polished and there’s continuity errors up the yin yang, but none of it matters because when it comes right down to it, irregardless of anything else, his movies are fun. He almost reminds me of a modern day Ed Wood in a lot of ways, and it’s nice to see someone carrying on that tradition.

Suburban Sasquatch is the story of a big breasted, well endowed bigfoot with a taste for blood that walks around, fading in and out of existence on his quest to rip apart as many people as he can get his hands on. The only one that can stop the beast’s rampage is a very beautiful Indian girl named Talla (Sue Lynn Sanchez) who’s sent on a spiritual quest by her grandfather (Ed Wascavage) to put an end to the monster’s reign of terror. Along the way, she ends up hooking up with a reporter named Rick who’s basically a total wuss and worthless in a fight. He does nothing but walk around doubting himself and wishing he had the one big story that would finally launch his professional career as a writer. That’s why he hooked up with Talla. He was investigating the murders that the local police were covering up, and he met her in the woods. He convinced her to let him join her so that he could get his story. Frankly, the only thing he did that was worth anything was to release her from the monster’s cave after it had captured her. There was a lot of talk between Rick and Talla about the creature and where it came from, but in the end, nothing was ever answered, nor did it really need to be.

This time around saw many of Dave’s usual cast of regulars making another appearance including his father and mother, Ed and Loretta Wascavage, his wife Mary, Dave Weldon, Wes Miller, and Dave Bonavita. Ed Wood has his cast of regulars, and so does Dave. This film also brings us a lot of new faces, and there were a couple of real standouts that I’d like to make special mention of here. Sue Lynn Sanchez who played Talla was just absolutely beautiful and her acting was pretty decent as well. I’d like to see more of her in Dave’s future projects. The other one is this kid named Timmy who was played by Hunter Quimby. Now that kid can act. He’s got a great future as a child actor if he wants to pursue it because although he didn’t have a huge part in this movie, he took the role and just did an absolutely phenomenal job with it. His line delivery was completely professional and he was very believable as a kid who was trying to convince his mother (played very nicely by Dallas Quin) that he had just seen a bigfoot. Naturally she doesn’t believe him, but she did during the course of that conversation deliver one of the funniest lines in the movie. I won’t tell you what it was because that would spoil it, but it was an incredibly funny offhanded comment that totally caught me by surprise.

Dave’s sense of continuity isn’t one of his strong suits, but for him that works because it makes the movie a lot more fun to watch. I was just mentioning to my wife Sharon that you could make a drinking game out of watching this movie. Watch it with a bunch of friends and then every time someone spots a continuity error, everyone else has to down a shot. Believe me, by the end of the movie, you and everyone around you would be puking drunk, but you’d have had so much fun that it would be worth riding the porcelain bus for an hour or so.

This movie sports the usual CGI work that’s typical in Dave’s films, except this time around they had a nicer look than his previous work. The old familiar triangle explosions from his previous films were replaced with some better looking effects, and although they still all look cartoonish, they add a lot of fun to the experience. There’s one part that was really funny. Bigfoot picks up a cop car and throws it down. It was a computer effect, but when the shot changed and bigfoot was walking away, the car was in the exact same spot it had been in before he picked it up, and it wasn’t damaged at all. There’s another part where bigfoot busts in a door and the door pretty much shatters, but if you look to the right you can see that the door is wide open and still sitting nicely on its hinges. Does any of it matter? To anyone who’s snotty about film, yeah it probably would, but to anyone who just wants to have fun watching a movie, it’s just another element of what makes this movie so fun.

The disc itself is pretty bare bones. Its only extra is a trailer, but this disc sees something new from Dave that I was happy to see. Chapter stops and a chapter select menu. His previous releases didn’t have these, so it was kind of a start to finish experience, but this one actually has 33 chapters, so if you have to stop for some reason, it’s a safe bet you can pretty much get right back where you were easily. It’s a small thing, but it’s a really nice thing to have, and I was glad to see that he added that in there this time around.

I know I use the word “fun” a lot when I review Dave’s films, but there’s a reason for that. His films are simply just a lot of fun to watch; most especially this one. He’s a really nice guy with a lot of great ideas floating around up there in that noggin of his, and every film he makes shows him improving and growing as a film maker, and I look forward to seeing a lot more of his work in the future. He’s already got his next film in post production and he’s started work on the one after that, so I don’t think we’ll be running out of Wascavage flavored goodness any time soon.

If you want to pick up a copy of Suburban Sasquatch, or check out some of Dave’s other films, you can get them from the Troubled Moon Films website.