Teacher’s Day (2014) – By Roger Carpenter

A European history teacher gets fired due to an unfounded rumor and, enraged, begins a killing spree that starts with the school administrators before he pursues the teenaged girls in his class that were the source of the rumor. Meanwhile, the teenaged girls are having a…you guessed it—slumber party, complete with booze, dope, and plenty of skimpy underthings. These girls are so wrapped up in their own drama and fun that they are unaware that the killer is pursuing them.

So goes Teachers’ Day, the newest horror film from Jared Lee Masters and Frolic Pictures. It is obvious that Masters loves grindhouse films and B-movies which are his major influence. His stories are derivative at best, but the direction is solid and the actors really give it their all which allows all the gory, sleazy cream to rise to the top and make this an enjoyable no-budget slasher flick.

You really have to give Masters credit. Most $40,000 films are so atrocious as to be unwatchable. But while Teacher’s Day does sometimes show the telltale signs of micro budget filmmaking, Masters is talented enough to wring ten times the fun out of even the smallest budget. Special effects are limited to a couple of fairly gory set pieces, including death by electric carving knife and death by curling iron. And even though these effects are slightly exposed by the limited budget they are nevertheless fun and creative—I defy you to identify any other film that has a death by curling iron! Set design is also somewhat limited (computer-printed signs are stuck to a brick wall to designate teacher-only parking), but once the film moves into the Slumber Party House the need for additional set design is low. Besides, we aren’t focused on the budget limitations at that point. We are focused on the girls.

And the girls are gorgeous. They aren’t shy, either. They run around in panties and bras when they are wearing anything at all, dancing and wiggling and generally flirting with the camera and, by proxy, the viewer. The acting is generally average, but frankly, who cares when you are focused on tight little asses in boyshorts and pert little breasts in push-up bras? The girls are not only pursued by the killer history teacher but also a couple of horny dweebs who get the peepshow of their lives as they watch the girls dance, jump on the bed, and paint each other with body paint. If you have to die, what better way to die than drunk and watching a bunch of beautiful young things shaking their moneymakers? Kudos go to newcomer Andrew Phillips as Luke Dalton, the horny boyfriend of one of the girls’ sisters who spends the movie getting blue-balled by one lovely lady after another before getting offed himself. He shines in his role as a lovable pervert who just wants to have some fun and was totally entertaining throughout the film.

Masters shows some creativity with his opening credit sequence, a series of school notes being opened to reveal cast and crew while some Valley Girls gossip about the players as their names are revealed. This was a really fun sequence and highly enjoyable.

Overall, all 73 minutes of the film are highly entertaining though Masters really needs to do something about the atrocious computer scores used in these films. If there was one thing needing the most improvement it’s the horribly irritating score but the cheese factor is high enough to be able to overlook this particular flaw. So if you enjoy truly fun and unique indie horror then Teachers’ Day is for you.

The DVD is chock full of special features including trailers, deleted scenes, interviews with the cast and crew, plus one of the most bizarre—and delicious—music videos I have ever seen. No description can adequately prepare the viewer for “Fruit on My Belly”. The song itself isn’t particularly good, especially if one dislikes hip hop, but the video is a master stroke of gorgeous gyrating ladies wearing next to nothing. The video truly has to be seen to be believed, and if you view it once that won’t be enough, I can promise you that!

Teachers’ Day will be released soon on DVD from Amazon, but for the time being, you may purchase a copy directly from Frolic Pictures at www.frolicpictures.com. And whatever you do, watch out for the apples, bananas, and even the cherries.