Tender Flesh (1998) – By Brian Morton

 In the world of Jess Franco, women rule…literally! Now, don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with powerful women (and if I do my wife would beat me unmercifully until the problem went away!). But, these women seem to be almost, well, man-ish, if that’s a real word.

Tender Flesh begins as if it’s going to be a standard soft-core movie. There’s lots of naked women and they do a lot of dancing and there’s a bunch of ‘sly looks’ back and forth and, I think this is a Jess Franco thing, there’s lots of lip licking, which I think is supposed to be sexy, but it just ends up making you think that these women have very chapped lips! Well, the story here is of a stripper and her boyfriend, after she’s seen in a club doing the obligatory seductive dance, some ‘rich’ people in the club invite them to a private island for a ‘good time’. Well, one thing leads to another, there’s a lot of nudity and dancing and the next thing you know, the whole movie turns into a bland remake of The World’s Most Dangerous Game and the stripper is taken into the jungle and hunted. That’s right, it’s a complete left turn from where you thought the story was going. Now, I’m not saying that this movie doesn’t have some shocking moments, in fact, there was one scene where the chef is adding some ‘spices’ to his cooking that had me setting aside the popcorn and rethinking my soda entirely! I won’t give it away, that would ruin the stomach turning for all of you. And then there’s the ending, where, not only do we hunt the most dangerous game, but also we eat what we kill!

The acting isn’t anything spectacular and the story is recycled from old movies, but the lead actress is pretty attractive and she’s naked about 90% of the time, so that’s not bad, but overall this is a pretty weak movie. If you’re interested in the shocks here, you can check it out for yourself at Seduction Cinema.com. So, until the next time, when I’ll be playing the most dangerous game, which means when my wife asks me if that dress makes her look fat, I’ll be saying ‘yes’, remember that the best movies are bad movies!