The Crawling Brain (2002) – By Brian Morton

Do you remember those exploitation movies from the 60s and early 70s? The ones that had really bad acting, but you were really just there to see the topless girls and the really gross effects. Yeah, we’ve all seen them, whether we’ll admit to it or not! Well, in recent years, they’ve become the beloved movies that most people have never seen, even being paid tribute to by Quentin Tarantino in Kill Bill. Well, I just saw a movie that grabs those elements and, while treating them with respect, also doesn’t take them so seriously. It’s called The Crawling Brain and, if you guessed it was about a brain that crawls, you’d be close!

The Crawling Brain is the story of Stephen Kroeger, who’s gone to take care of his ailing Grandma Anita. Well, Stephen thinks that the biggest problem that he’s going to run up against is his freeloading brother, but he doesn’t count of Grandma Anita having a secret. And what a secret it is! You see, Grandma Anita’s name is really Helene and she was a Nazi nurse during World War 2. Helene/Anita helped out Nazi doctor Franz Kindler doing experimentations on humans trying to transplant brains from one person to another, and he was close to perfecting his operation when the war ended. And what did every good Nazi do when the Americans were breathing down their necks? That’s right, you either hid or got prosecuted for war crimes? So Franz asked nurse Helene to remove his brain, place it in a fish tank and keep it alive until she could find you a good enough body! Perfectly sensible.

Now, with Grandma Anita/Helene ailing, she’s turned her secret over to her grandsons, Stephen and the freeloader, Kenneth. Now, Stephen wants nothing to do with this plan, he’s a bit goody goody, but Ken is all for it! What neither Ken, nor Steve, nor Anita/Helene knows is that the brain has been moving around on it’s own feeding on the spinal fluids of others to keep itself alive and had learned how to transfer the consciousness of Franz Kindler into another person until it’s time for the brain to feed again. So, Franz transfers himself into Stephen and the experimental operations are on again!

While this is a homage to both 60s monster movies and exploitation movies, this is a good movie. There’s enough going on here to keep your interest, the monster crawling brain is a little cheesy looking, but it’s supposed to be! And when the possessed Stephen sends Ken out to find "bodies that won’t be missed", you’re sure before he’s even out the door that that means one thing….HOOKERS!!! This movie has it all, a crawling brain, experimental brain surgeries, people being possessed, Nazis, you can’t ask for more than that, can you? You can? Well, how about the acting is good too? Or, that the story is well written? If that’s not enough for you, then, my friend, I don’t think you’ll ever be satisfied!

It’s called The Crawling Brain and you should try to get it to crawl into your DVD player soon! For more info, drop over to, Ron can hook you up! And until another movie crawls into my heart and lays it’s evil eggs there, remember the best movies are always the bad movies!