The Evils of Critics – By Danny Runion

 Call this sort of an expose. They lord their opinions over you with their art school pretensions. If they don’t have an art school degree, they have an inflated sense of independent cinema. If you disagree with them, you aren’t just wrong. But, you are WRONG in capital letters that screams across parallel dimensions. Where exactly does a degree on film theory automatically trump their ideas above anyone else’s like yours?

Newspaper movie reviewers seem to be the most anti-genre reviewers that have ever existed. They tear down every sci-fi and horror movie but love to mention how an actor in a supporting role was in last season’s Masterpiece Theater. The imdb fan reviews always seem to devolve into an "anti so-and-so" rant.

Some online reviewers relish tearing a movie to shreds. Some sites can do it hilariously. Others come across more mean-spirited than sack of kitten-drowning evil…It is understandable why we would want to lash at some movies. Most of the time, it boils down to having a bad day or week and wanting to lash and rage against something. However, that isn’t really a good enough reason. Some movies are definitely flaming pieces of crap on sticks lobbed towards an unsuspecting populace. Any b-movie reviewer has run across some pretty wretched movies along with some surprisingly entreating ones, too. I’ve spread a lot of my disgust on movies like Battlefield Earth and Massacre for that matter.

However, that doesn’t give us a hunting season to try to trounce all of them. It isn’t fair. Sure, fair is one of the 4 letter words that start with "F" you shouldn’t say. The more you tear a movie to shreds the more some people think it is entertaining the review is. Watch a movie and throw a few snappy witty comments and bam instant critic. Some think a couple "witty" comments and they’re actually as funny as Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Reviewers can’t gush about how great every movie is. To be honest, some movies are pretty horrendous. Well, the ones you hear being quoted on how the latest Hollywood comedy is "uproariously hilarious" or how truly horrifying the latest horror movie is. These reviewers have sold their names and what very little respectability for a little acknowledgement. When your site proclaims how great a movie is a few syllables away from how good a friend you are with the actors or director, it seems you’ve lost what little credibility you might have ever possessed. There is a wide line between utter ridicule and prostituting yourself for "pwesents." A lot would rather rage against all big movies and embrace every single indy film. That view sounds a lot like being a snob. The opposite view is only big budget movies are great and low budget movies are trash. Is it so hard to think that the movie shouldn’t automatically be judged as coming from Hollywood or Hay Hiria, Georgia?