Who Says Men Aren’t Romantic – By Brian Morton

Sometimes us guys get a bad rap from you chicks. We’re either not sensitive enough or we’re way too sensitive, which either makes us basically either thugs or wussies! We’re either neat freaks or complete slobs. We’re either work-a-holics and we’re never around, or we need to get off our lazy asses and get a damn job! But, I think the number one complaint we hear from you is that we’re not romantic enough. Can you believe it? Us? Not romantic? Well, it just shows you that women don’t know us as well as they think, do they? Guys are just as romantic as you girls are, we just show it in a different way, and what we find romantic is different. So…let me explain.

Romance for you women is flowers and candy and poetry and sunsets by the beach and all sorts of things that generally put us guys to sleep. We can’t help it! That stuff is for you girls, we’ll put up with it sometimes, but it really doesn’t interest us, we’ll do it so we can be with you, and that’s pretty good isn’t it? You see, for us guys, romance is very different. It’s the way we show you that we care, without having to say it out loud. We’ll work around the house fixing things, we’ll do what we’re told, we’ll rake leaves, mow grass, and even climb up on ladders, just don’t make us say it out loud. So, how do you know that it’s romance and not just maintenance? Well, let me show you a couple of movies that show how deeply us men feel about you chicks.

First, there’s Mel Gibson in Mad Max, now I know by bringing Mel up that I have the ladies attention. Now, if you’ve seen this movie, you might just see a movie about a tough cop who hunts a motorcycle gang in a cool car, but lette s dig a little deeper, shall we? What a guy sees is the story of a family man (Mel) who just wants to do his job and get back to his family. Then when a motorcycle gang chases them and kills his family, Mel snaps. He goes from kindly, family guy Mel, to Mad Max. That’s how much he loved his family, his whole identity was built around them, so when they went away, he changed…oh, yeah and he hunts and kills the people who did it!

All right, so that’s just one example. You want another? How about Dirty Harry? So, you think that Dirty Harry is just about a tough cop on the streets of San Francisco. Well, let’s scratch the surface of Harry, shall we? What made Harry dirty? Well, a drunk driver killed his wife, and after that, Harry lost touch with the rest of the world. Because of his pain, Harry keeps everyone at a distance by acting gruff and mean, but deep down Harry’s one of the good guys. You see, Harry wants to make sure that no one ever hurts as much as he does, so he’s on a crusade against the bad guys. That makes two guys who were so romantic about their wives that they stopped being who they were when their wives went away. How romantic is that??

Clint Eastwood isn’t your cup of tea? Then how about that other icon of ’70s romance, Charles Bronson. In Death Wish, Chuck is a conscientious objector, so he won’t even fight in a war, but when a street gang, which includes a young and even weirder looking Jeff Goldblum, attacks his wife and daughter, Chuck’s heart is broken, and like all real men, when his heart is broken, someone is gonna pay! He starts with a sock full of quarters but works his way up to a nice little pistol to clean the streets of the heartbreaking scum that hurt him so. And, like Clint, Chuck’s pain went deep enough to warrant numerous sequels!

One more? Okay, how about Lethal Weapon? I know it’s Mel Gibson again, but I gotta keep the attention of the ladies here, don’t I? On the surface this is just a buddy cop movie, but if you go just a little deeper, you see something very different. Mel is a cop who was married, but when his wife passes away (from natural causes, this time) Mel can’t bear to go on, so he throws himself into his work. He takes chances on his job in an effort to get himself killed, until he meets his new partner Danny Glover. Danny takes Mel under his wing and shows him that he has the strength to go on without his beloved…and to kick the asses of the bad guys in the process.

Okay, so basically we’ve seen that when a wife dies a man changes dramatically, but is there any other romantic man scenarios? You bet, how about The Crow? That’s right, is looks like another sci-fi/karate/zombie/revenge movie, but it’s one of the best “man romances” of our time. The story here is about Brandon Lee and his fiancée. Brandon is in love with one of those activist chicks, who gets in trouble with a slumlord. The slumlord sends a bunch of thugs over to rough them up, but the thugs get too rough and both Brandon and his girl wind up dead. Now ordinarily that would be the end of the story, but not in a man romance! You see, Brandon loves his fiancée so much that even death won’t keep them apart, so he comes back to life and avenges her death so they can be together in peace. Pretty romantic, huh? Well, maybe not if you a girl, but it damn romantic if you’re a guy!

So, I guess that should give you ladies an idea of what your men think of as romantic. We find romance in things like carrying heavy packages for you, or fixing your car or repairing something around the house that you use that’s broken. We may not say it, but trust me, we’re feeling it, we just don’t want to talk about it, and every man I know would turn into Harry or Max is something happened to our wives! So, girls, just be happy with us as we are, and bear with us, guys show our romance in different ways!