With Horror, Location is Everything – By Danny Runion

Most horror movies follow the so-called “rules.” If you have sex or do drugs, you will die. Anyone who says “I’ll be right back” is guaranteed not to make it to the
sequel. Cars, phones, and electricity will mysteriously quit working when you’re in danger. With as many of the “rules”, I want to bring up the “places.” Horror
movies are normally set in a few places. If you think hard enough, you can find a horror movie set in almost any place. How many horror movies are set in an
opera house except for Phantom of the Opera? Several places automatically have the story almost written as soon as the writer thinks to set a movie in
a haunted house for instance. Who needs a good storyline when a mysterious killer is stalking those teenagers partying in the local murder mansion?

Some other places may spring to mind. A hospital might be counted if there were more movies besides Halloween 2 and Blue Monkey to
consider. The long barely lit hallways seem a lot more frightening for a chase than completely dark warehouses. A hospital has an innate creepiness about it on
par with a funeral home. A haunted house may be run down and filled with cobwebs but some cleaning and daylight can make it seem less frightening. What
can be done to remove the slight antiseptic and sickly smell of a hospital?

Most ghosts seem to hang around where they were killed instead of at the graveyard. The Frighteners had ghosts all over the place which could arguably
fit into multiple slots in the list. Where would they be counted as staying? However, I am considering only movies that are set mainly in one place. How would
Halloween count with Michael Meyers walking around Haddonfield before finally returning to the old Meyers place? He spends most of the movie on
the prowl. At least Jason is only targeting victims around Camp Crystal Lake. The movies mentioned are where they most took place. This isn’t a definitive list
of movies that occur in these places but ones that came off the top of my head.

Location(s): Recently reopened summer camps.

Summary: Wouldn’t a summer camp home to tragedy and death be hard to reopen? It seems the negative publicity from the “Summer Camp Massacreā€¯ would ruin your attempt at reopening the summer camp or retreat for disturbed teenagers. The realtor may claim the property is a steal but the price of body bags will bankrupt you. Besides that, if you were opeing a summer camp, wouldn’t you want counselors that weren’t completely sex-crazed drugged out idiots? Without the psycho killer, the lawsuits caused by the counselors from accidently injuring the kids would bankrupt you.

Related Films: Friday the 13th, Sleepaway Camp, etc…

Location(s): Funeral homes.

Summary: Has there ever been any good come out of a funeral home unless you were married to a old billionaire with a heart condition?
Ever notice that every movie undertaker is really creepy? Well, to be fair, undertakers in Westerns were cowardly and greedy. Horror movie morticians are creepier
than Michael Jackson playing Santa Claus in a shopping mall. A crazy and wild eyed Clarence Williams III offering to give a tour of the funeral parlor and how some
of the “unfortunates” met their demises isn’t an offer to accept. Would you deal with Angus Scrimm with his army of cloaked midgets and brain burrowing flying silver balls?

Related Films: Tales from the Hood, Undertaker and His Pals, The Phantasm Series

Location(s): High school or college.

Summary: Every high school has the kid that was tortured and now demands revenge for the treatment. Movies have seemed to shy away from the alienated teenagers wanting
revenge after the numerous school shootings over the past 10 years. The 70s and 80s really milked the teen slasher genre into the pale doppelganger that gave us
the late 90s pseudo Scream genre. The horror movies set at a college almost always have a fraternity (or if we’re luckier a sorority) initiation involve something that will unleash death and destruction around the campus.

Related Films: Return to Horror High, Prom Night, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Night of the Creeps

Location(s): Rundown haunted houses.

Summary: What is it about dark, damp, and cobweb clad house that have been abandoned for 50 years after “Crazy Old Man” Terwilliger hacked his family to pieces that draws horny and nubile teenagers like a magnet? If anyone has the answer, the Bates Motel would buy that secret to increase its business. How much booze or drugs do you need to make the run-down mansion on the edge of town to look like a 5 star hotel? What is so romantic about a bed that hasn’t had the sheets changed since a sign saying “George Washington slept here” was hung on the wall?

Related Films: Night of the Demons, Carnivore, Shining, The Amityville Series

Location(s): Cemeteries, mausoleums and ancient burial grounds.

Summary: What would be the worst place in the world to be when the dead crawl from the ground? 6 inches from where the dead crawl out of the ground would have
to be bad enough A cemetery should be avoided at all costs in movies except if Linnea Quigley is dancing naked around some tombstones. The only people who
should explore ancient burial grounds better be named after states. Has grave robbery ever paid for itself? No, it always awakens some curse put on those who
defile the tomb of the King.

Related Films: Return of the Living Dead, Night of the Living Dead, Cemetery Man