Women’s Prison Massacre (1983) – By Brian Morton

 You know, in this enlightened age it seems like men and women are treated as equals most of the time. There is one place that I see that they’re not equal at all and that’s in prison. Now, you’re going to have to keep in mind that I’ve never been to prison, and hope to never go. And that everything I’ve learned about out penal system, I’ve learned from the movies, after all, they wouldn’t put it in a movie if it wasn’t true, would they? So, that said, I want to talk about a movie I just watched called Women’s Prison Massacre.

Women’s Prison Massacre is the story of Emanuelle, who has been imprisoned for a crime that she didn’t commit. We’re told, sort of vaguely that it’s a drug charge, but since it’s not really that important to the plot, we’re really never told much more than she’s innocent and the district attorney trumped up the charges to get her into prison where Emanuelle would most likely be killed and therefore out of the DA’s hair. Well, besides a bunch of fights, which Emanuelle always seems to win, it seems like your normal women in prison movie, until four male prisoners are being moved into the male wing of the prison.

The four death row inmates break free, take hostages and being having their way with the female prison population while waiting for their demands to be met. This is your typical 80s women in prison movie and it’s for just that reason that I loved it! It’s got it all, the shower scene, the obligatory rape scene, the hostages and, of course, many many killings. It’s well worth your time, you can drop on over to Shock-O-Rama.com to pick up your own damn copy.

Now, as to what I started with, if you seen as many of these prison movies as I have you know, if you’re a man in prison most of your time is spent fighting. You either have to fight each other for the warden’s pleasure or you have to fight everyone else in the cell block because they’re trying to kill you. Women in prison on the other hand spend most of their time showering. In all the women in prison movies I’ve seen I think I may have seen over twelve thousand shower scenes. Plus, in a women’s prison the clothes are always more revealing…at least, that’s what I learned from the movies! So until the next time we cross paths, I’ll just be here picking up the soap and reminding you that the best movies are bad movies.