Woodchipper Massacre (1989) – By Brian Morton

 What do you get when you cross a horror movie with an after school special? Well, you probably wouldn’t guess a movie called Woodchipper Massacre, but you’d be wrong!

Woodchipper Massacre is the story of a trio of kids who’s dad has left town and left them in the charge of their strange Aunt Tess. Aunt Tess is a weird one, always spouting off about Satan and saving your soul, I think we all have one of these in the family. Well, when Tess and one of her young charges get into a tugging match over an ‘official Rambo hunting knife’, and Aunt Tess winds up on the kitchen floor with a knife in her, our heroes panic. Now, if you were a young kid and your Aunt was dead on the kitchen floor, what would you do? If you said, put her body through the woodchipper to hide it, then you’re on the same page here! While, looking at the box, you might think this is a straight-ahead horror movie, you’d be sadly mistaken, this is a comedy. Our kids all learn a valuable lesson about working together and team work…by chopping up their aunt and other relatives and getting rid of them, all while keeping on top of the chores that they’ve been assigned by their father…such good kids!

Woodchipper Massacre has got to be one of the most original movies that I’ve seen…and it’s from 1989! It’s almost the type of horror movies that you can start your kids with, not too scary, not too bloody, but all the elements are right there, truly a classic from the era. If you’d like to check out this great movie for yourself, go over to Camp Motion Pictures and see for yourself. If you’re looking for something really different, then this is for you! So, until next time, when I’ll moonwalk through another 80s classic, remember that the best movies are bad movies.