Zeta One (1969) – By Duane L. Martin

Zeta One is a playfully sexy spy spoof starring Robin Hawdon as James Word, a virile super spy who’s sent to investigate the kidnapping of a stripper, and ends up discovering there’s a much bigger story at play. Major Bourdon (James Robertson Justice) has discovered that in some other dimension or planet or whatever called Angvia, there’s a group of women who exist with no men. They come into our dimension to kidnap women and brainwash them so they can expand their ranks, and the Major wants to find out where they are so he can take over and control them. Then he’ll have the power to take over the world. I guess that’s kinda what was going on.

Man, where do I even start on this one? First, let me say that despite anything I say that may sound negative about this film, most of it really isn’t all that negative. The film itself is so cheesy, that even the negative aspects of it are enjoyable. So, that said…

I think the biggest problem with this film is that the story is confusing. The Major claims to work for some government agency, and yet James referred to him as public enemy number one. Then there’s the fact that super spy James Word, really doesn’t have much of anything at all to do with the main story other than that he showed up at the Major’s mansion at the end looking for the kidnapped girl, and even at that, all he really did was stumble around in the bushes for the most part. Really his main purpose in the movie seems to be to have sex and to relate the story of the Major, Zeta and the women of Angvia to Ann Olsen, the girl he’s sleeping with who is supposed to work for his spy agency, but is really one of Zeta’s girls sent to pump him for info to find out how much he knows about them. He relates the whole story to her, even though he only actually saw the very end of what was going on, so I’m not sure how he knew the rest of it. He was deemed to know to much to be allowed to remain, and since he was handsome and virile, he’s taken back to Zeta for his happy ending of being fed oysters and beer and is made to have sex with all the women to impregnate them. I’m sure he had them all preggers in no time. He is after all, a handsome super spy.

The acting in this film is as cheesy as you’d expect, but actually quite good in that way. I think everyone involved really got the vibe of the film and ran with it. The look of the film was pretty groovy as well, and man, they didn’t skimp on the beautiful girls. There are some girls in this film that are just crazy beautiful.

While the story is rather weak and at times a little confusing, the movie itself is fun and has a great look. It says on the back that it was part of the inspiration for the Austin Powers movies, and I can totally see how that would be the case, though the Austin Powers movies actually had the main character doing something other than sleeping with women and stumbling around in the brush. All in all though, it’s a fun film that will take you back to the groovy, sexy days of London in 1969.

This new release from Kino Lorber’s Jezebel label looks and sounds great. There’s nothing in the line of special features other than the trailer for this and other films from the Jezebel label. It’s definitely worth checking out, but don’t go into it expecting Austin Powers, or you’ll be disappointed. Take it for what it is and you’ll have a lot of fun with it.

If you’d like to find out more about this film, you can check out its page on the Kino Lorber website here, and if you’d like to pick up a copy for yourself, you can get the re-mastered blu-ray from Amazon, or from any of the other usual outlets.