Zombiegeddon (2003) – By Jordan Garren

 It’s not often that I see something that defies logic, reason, and …. an explanation, but luckily indie director Chris Watson has filled that void in my life. With his directorial debut of Zombiegeddon, Chris has managed to create one of the craziest and almost completely non-sensical films of all time. While this would be a bad thing in most cases, I can’t help but endorse this film! Not only has Mr. Watson pulled together an amazing cast of cult film stars, but he’s made one of the most original zombie films I’ve seen in recent memory. Anyway, I’ll do my best to tell you what this film is about, and hopefully I’ll raise some interest about this indie gem in the process.

Zombiegeddon starts out pretty abruptly as radio DJ Laura Reynolds (played by Brinke Stevens) finishes up a quick bout of sex with Jesus Christ (no this is not a setup for a joke, she actually does have sex with Jesus who happens to be played by f/x guru Tom Savini!). Afterwards she goes to work and begins telling a tale about the beginning of the end for humanity! It seems that zombies had recently invaded the Tromaville area and chowed down on the students and faculty at the nearby college. Two extremely corrupt and excessively immoral cops named Cage (Ari Bavel) and Jeff Jackson (Paul Darrigo), end up on the scene of the zombie attacks and start kicking some undead ass. However, the fight isn’t an easy one because the undead in this film are shape shifters… well…. sort of.

The zombies look just like normal human beings but can suddenly change into shambling, rotting, kung-fu gut-munchers. Naturally this allows the zombies to ambush their human prey, but its not enough to stop Cage and his younger partner Jeff, who as it turns out is destined to destroy the zombie menace! By the end of the movie, Jackson avenges the death of his zombie-fighting father and saves humanity from the zombie threat…. until he’s shot and killed by Detective Bobby Romero (the Maniac Cop himself, Robert Z’Dar!). Apparently when the "chosen one" dies and his bloodline is severed, then the zombies can conquer the world. DOH!

As the film ends, Laura Reynolds finishes up her incredible story mere moments before the radio station is besieged by the seemingly victorious flesh-eaters. As a group of zombies stumble towards Laura, she brandishes a butcher’s knife and says "God damn zombies," thus ending the epic that is Zombiegeddon. About two years ago, Chris Watson had sent me the rough cut of Zombiegeddon after it’s initial editing was completed and I loved it. Now that the film is officially completed I love it even more! The sound and picture quality of the disc are fantastic and the new opening and closing credits are awesome as hell! Though the film’s storyline is a mess, the completed version of Zombiegeddon makes a bit more sense and has even more cult movie personalities than ever before!

Just look at the list of people Chris Watson assembled for this film: Director Uwe Boll (yes that Uwe Boll! He actually gives a little intro before Zombiegeddon and calls Watson’s film a "piece of sh*t movie," which makes me wonder if Mr. Boll ever watched his own zombie flop, House of the Dead.), Trent Haaga (Troma fans will recognize him), Brinke Stevens, Tom Savini, William Smith, Edwin Neal, Lloyd Kaufman (Troma Prez), Joe Estevez, Felissa ("Sleepaway Camp") Rose, Robert Z’Dar, J.R. Bookwalter (Tempe Video Prez), Conrad Brooks, Linnea Quigley, Tina Krause, Lilith Stabs, and voice cameos by Joe Fleishaker, Amazon goddess Julie Strain, and legendary porn-star Ron Jeremy!

While a lot of the people above only have small roles in the film, they all help make the overall experience of watching Zombiegeddon even more fun. And that’s what this film is all about folks: fun! This movie was shot on a shoe-string budget, but that didn’t stop Chris Watson from getting an incredible cast and trained "anti-zombie" tigers. (For those of you scratching your head about that remark, you’ll just have to watch Zombiegeddon to see those striped cats in action!) This movie is what I like to call a glorious mess: It does so many things wrong (e.g. the plot is very hard to follow, especially when Joe Estevez and William Smith pop up every now and then to exchange goofy dialogue) and yet the movie held my attention and kept me entertained. With that said, only freaks like myself can truly appreciate this film so all normal viewers need not apply.

However, if you are interested in seeing this film, you can purchase it on July 11th on Troma DVD! The disc contains a ton of extras including: Commentary by director Chris Watson with colleagues James Bryan, Dennis Hayden, Eamon Hardiman, and Allen Richards, Commentary by 3 zombies, an Interview with Executive Producer Andrew J. Rausch, Interview with Director Chris Watson, Interview with co-star Conrad Brooks, Interview with co-star Brinke Stevens, Interview with co-star Nick "The Punisher" Phillips, Interview with co-star Eric Spudic, Deleted Scenes, In the Cave with Joe Estevez and William Smith, Easter Eggs, Trailers, a Brand-New Lloyd Kaufman interview with goremeister Herschell Gordon Lewis, and lastly an Exclusive First Look at the making of POULTRYGEIST: Recording the Songs. Remember, that release date is July 11th, so be sure to buy or rent Zombiegeddon and help support truly independent cinema!